Thursday, March 21, 2013
Things were going well for a couple of weeks--I was working out 6 days a week and diligently tracking my food, and I lost 4 lbs in 2 weeks. Yay!
Then I got a bad cold/sinus situation, and I stopped tracking and stopped working out hard. I still did yoga/pilates for 30 min or so, but I wasn't getting the same kind of calorie burn that I'd been getting before. And the food...for starters, having a cold means lots of juice, so lots of naturally occurring fruit sugar (which unfortunately gets turned into fat just like any other sugar). Also, my husband is trying to be romantic & fun when he suggests we go out for a nice meal. We went out for a pub lunch on Saturday and last night we went out for pizza at this new place I've been dying to try. Then this morning, I saw a 4 lb gain on the scale. Ugh.
I hate this so much. I hate the fact that, when I'm making bad choices, they don't seem that bad at the time. I had juice, for crying out loud--I never drink soda, I've given up my delicious caramel macchiatos and switched to black coffee, I drink several pints of water a day. I don't drink my calories, but the one week when I do drink 8-12 oz of juice a day, I pile on the weight.
Likewise, we don't normally eat out at restaurants. It's usually a once-a-week treat on a Friday night, and I usually look at the menu online beforehand. This week, I didn't plan (both meals out were spontaneous suggestions from my husband), and I failed miserably. I didn't order an appetiser or a dessert, I didn't drink soda or alcohol with my meals--what gives?
I'm aware of the fact that I made bad choices this week, and now I'm paying the price on the scale. I'm just venting here, because I find it really frustrating that one bad week can undo my progress and leave me back at the starting line. I cried this morning and told my husband about the gain, and he offered to go running with me on Sunday morning. He's trying to be supportive, but he's always been thin and his whole family is thin, so I never feel like he really understands what it's like. (As far as that goes, I don't understand what it's like to be thin or to have a thin family, so I guess we're even!) Work-related stress has also been quite high for a couple of weeks, but with Easter break coming up and the students leaving, things are calming down. I think I've probably been comfort eating without realizing it, too. There are a lot of things I'm trying to juggle and I feel like I've been failing at all of them--that's a sign of burnout.
I'm going to try to take this pain & frustration and turn it into motivation for this next week. I'll take my cold meds and be patient with my healing, but I will start working out again--this time I'll try Bob Harper's 3 days on, 1 day off suggestion instead of Jillian Michaels' 6 on, 1 off pattern that I've been doing (probably contributed to my burnout). I'll go back to tracking, because even though it can be a hassle, I know that it really does work. I'll learn to say no when my husband suggests a food-related treat, and to come up with a non-food-related alternative (i.e. last Sunday after church I had us go to a local farm to see the lambs--they're ridiculously cute!). And, as evidenced by this post, I need to vent more often. Writing helps me clear my mind & come up with solutions.
This month of good days & bad days has taught me a lot about the journey and the frustrations along the way, and the need to just keep moving forward, no matter what.