Wednesday, March 20, 2013
On the first day that I started this, I wrote this big long, convoluted blog about how I was hoping that I would remain positive and actually stick to this. By the end of it, I was satisfied and just as i was adding a little emoticon, the window crashed and everything was lost. I had titled that blog with the title: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." At the time, that's how it was for me. It was the first day after everything had kind of finally clicked and I just realized that this was going to stop.
It's really hard to explain when you feel that sometimes you have a relationship with food. Does that sound sick? Maybe- maybe not. There will probably be far less judgment here as a lot of us are here for the same things. I know it sounds cheesy in my head, but it did just sort of click. I had a moment while talking to my best friend where I just realized that the only thing that was keeping me fat... was me.
I'm the type of person to be anal-retentive about certain things. At times I am too lax with them, others far too strict. This is one of my things. I have decided to make this one of my things, this... food.
It's so hard though at times. As of right now, I'm on technically day four of this lifestyle change (I refuse to call it a diet, diets are temporary and this has to be effective for the rest of my life.) So I am on day four of this and while I'm not hungry, I'm craving certain foods. It's the weirdest freaking things. Sometimes I feel like food is my sex. I can look at pictures of food and it's almost like porn, minus the perversions (I don't want to fornicate with it, just eat it.)
So anyway... I don't really know what the point in this blog is. But I'm still doing it, it's not like I'm ranting like this with a Twinkie in my mouth (RIP Twinkie- though I never really liked those.) I guess I feel as though I am just sort of yelling out into the air.
I MISS WHITE BREAD AND PROCESSED CHEESE!!!!
.... okay... I'm done.