Wednesday, March 20, 2013
So, I'm down today. And yesterday. Not down as in on the scale, of course. Down emotionally. Three weeks ago, I took the HPT that finally (after TWO MONTHS of miscarriage-related hell) showed negative. The SAME DAY, I started bleeding super super light. That went on for a week, then got slightly heavier. Another week of that, then this week, much more like a normal period. Seriously?? Like I didn't JUST get done bleeding for 6 freaking weeks?
The doc's office doesn't seem to be worried about it. They only said that if, for my next cycle, it goes longer than 14 days or I have spotting like that again, to come in and see what's going on. They think my body is just trying to get back to normal. And yeah, that makes sense, except... seriously? I just can't get a break.
Even better, another coworker just announced that she's pregnant, and two of my FB friends are now pregnant. One with triplets (her third pregnancy) and one with her third child. Every single time it's like a new knife cutting into my heart. Seriously. I can't maintain ONE. One of them has already been hidden from my news feed - I can't take the next 8 months of updates about it. The other one doesn't post often, but I'll probably hide her, too. I'll check in periodically to make sure they're OK, but I just can't do it every single day. Can't handle the constant status updates about their morning sickness, doc's appointments, ultrasounds, etc.
This just sucks.
My weight is NOT going down, in spite of working out every day. I know this is in part due to my limited self control, which is related to my being depressed. My stamina sucks, my body is a mess - I'm just generally NOT happy.
UGH. Ready for some positive now!!