Swimming Through Jello
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
I posted a blog yesterday morning and removed it, along with several comments, later in the day. Several of the comments upset me and I’m still upset today so I decided today to write about posting “advice” to someone you don’t really know and how important it is to think about how it’s going to sound to the person reading it. The comments that upset me were about how I needed work on improving my self image. Knowing you’re obese and not liking how you look in a mirror or not liking how you look in pictures is not, in my opinion, poor self image, and it’s certainly not denial. It has more to do with wanting to maintain a positive attitude. I’ve tried unsuccessfully for so long to lose, even had a doctor tell me in January that, “With your medical conditions and family history it will be extremely difficult, if not impossible to lose weight.” Knowing that and persevering anyway, most days with a smile despite everything is hard and seeing very little apparent progress reflected in the mirror or in pictures is not going to encourage me to keep going. That’s not poor self image, it’s realism. My mother always taught me that if you can’t say something nice you shouldn’t say anything. When I offer suggestions to people I try to do it in a kind and supportive way. I never make comments on people’s blogs simply to get some Spark Points for the day, I think that’s what was going on yesterday and I don’t appreciate it. Now I feel like I’m stuck in the mire again, I call it, “Swimming Through Jello.” The support we are able to offer each other on this site is what’s so comforting, it’s a big part of why I’m able to keep going day after day regardless of the results shown on my scale. It works both ways though, people who are going through the same thing shouldn’t try to offer advice through criticism. I may be overreacting but it was hard for me to even sign in to SparkPeople today and I think it will be awhile until I post another blog – at least until I’m out of the jello.