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Swimming Through Jello

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I posted a blog yesterday morning and removed it, along with several comments, later in the day. Several of the comments upset me and I’m still upset today so I decided today to write about posting “advice” to someone you don’t really know and how important it is to think about how it’s going to sound to the person reading it. The comments that upset me were about how I needed work on improving my self image. Knowing you’re obese and not liking how you look in a mirror or not liking how you look in pictures is not, in my opinion, poor self image, and it’s certainly not denial. It has more to do with wanting to maintain a positive attitude. I’ve tried unsuccessfully for so long to lose, even had a doctor tell me in January that, “With your medical conditions and family history it will be extremely difficult, if not impossible to lose weight.” Knowing that and persevering anyway, most days with a smile despite everything is hard and seeing very little apparent progress reflected in the mirror or in pictures is not going to encourage me to keep going. That’s not poor self image, it’s realism. My mother always taught me that if you can’t say something nice you shouldn’t say anything. When I offer suggestions to people I try to do it in a kind and supportive way. I never make comments on people’s blogs simply to get some Spark Points for the day, I think that’s what was going on yesterday and I don’t appreciate it. Now I feel like I’m stuck in the mire again, I call it, “Swimming Through Jello.” The support we are able to offer each other on this site is what’s so comforting, it’s a big part of why I’m able to keep going day after day regardless of the results shown on my scale. It works both ways though, people who are going through the same thing shouldn’t try to offer advice through criticism. I may be overreacting but it was hard for me to even sign in to SparkPeople today and I think it will be awhile until I post another blog – at least until I’m out of the jello.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FIT4MEIN2013
    Oh, crap, Carolyn! Now I am wondering what I posted and if it was hurtful. I hope not! emoticon
    1801 days ago
    Oh, I want to offer my support too! NikkiCole expresses my feelings, and others extend sincere kindness as well. As "Dear Abby" would say... some people lack breeding, lack manners, and lack courtesy... Don't let them steal your shine!
    This world has always had mean spirited people in it---and some can hack into our wonderful Spark site! HUGS to you!!
    1801 days ago
    Hugs to you! emoticon Sorry that people come across that way. Some mean it for the best and sometimes end up sticking their foot in their mouth unintentionally. Good luck on your journey and keep going for you! emoticon
    1801 days ago
  • NHES220
    Don't give up - you are doing what you can even with the deck stacked against you. Good luck getting steadier on the bike and I hope the weather is getting nicer where you are so you can get out and enjoy it!
    1801 days ago
    Don't let ANYONE steal your shine! You keep posting your blogs. Those blogs are a way for you to release and I am VERY proud of you for deciding to blog today about how those comments made you feel. I rarely have experience like yours but i did one time in particular. This woman posted a scathing comment about how everything that I wrote about was not true and that she felt I was doing it for attention and that she didn't know WHERE I was from because she has NEVER heard of anyone treating heavier women differently, and she went on and on. Her comment was almost as long as my blog! Personally, I think if you don't have anything constructive to say and/or if you can't figure out how to say it so that the message is received POSITIVELY, then you should just exit said page or blog. I would never think to be rude on someone else's page about THEIR life.

    I am sorry you had to deal with that and just hope you continue to log-in. emoticon emoticon
    1801 days ago
    I hope today you get more positive statements. We should be here to encourage, support and inspire each other as fellow Sparkers on a journey to better health.
    I wish you luck, love and peace!
    1801 days ago
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