Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Like everyone here I struggle, I have my ups and downs. I hate looking at the scale because it never feels like it's moving. It just feels stuck in place. I know it's not a pound lost is still a pound gone but it drives me crazy. To the point of almost tears because I feel like I'm putting in all this work, maybe not as much as I could, maybe not as much as others but I'm still working my butt off. So not seeing that number fall just, it's sometimes crushing. I think most people can understand my feelings here.
But then last night happens, one of those nights where you surprise yourself so badly that you almost pee yourself with excitement. Not all victories comes from a stupid computer chipped square that sits on the floor. Sometimes, just sometimes it's those non scale victories that floor you. I had a couple of those last night, even now I'm just vibrating with excitment.
So what happened? A couple things, I got to the gym and changed into my gear. A woman told me I should look into new pants cause mine looked well used and were probably to loose. Ha! No one has ever said that to me so I smiled and thanked her, when she left I noticed she was a bit right. When I got those a year ago they weren't tight but they weren't loose. Smiling to myself I went to workout. Well I'm on the treadmill when I start to feel something, something only a few people have probably actually had happen to them. My underwear fell off my butt while I was running on the treadmill. I could feel it fall off my butt. Thank goodness my pants covered that. I had to take a little break and gracefully try to put them back on my behind.
I have to say the most thrilling part of this whole journey is discovering I'm capable. So when I couldn't get the incline to change to zero on the treadmill I just went with it. It was on a two I've never gone past zero so it's a difference. I just ignored the numbers on the machine and decided to run 1/4 mile. Sometimes I've made it more but it's a good goal. Well I didn't look down to see if I'd gone that far I just kept running and running, and running some more. I didn't stop running just cause my legs were tired or that I was going to die, I stopped cause I had to get into one of my classes and I didn't want to be late.
In case you haven't figured it out yet, this is the exciting part, this is the part where a happy dance happens and you don't give a freak who is around. You ready for it? I ran 1.50 miles in twenty minutes. What? I've never run a mile before without stopping, I've always had to walk/run, not last night. You can't see it but I just did another happy dance.
Over all I did 2.75 miles last night, the first mile was trying to get the incline down and then just saying whatever to it.
When I got off the treadmill I wasn't dying, sure I was a sweating and a little bit tired, but not dying like I have in the past. Not swearing that I'd never get up there and do it again. Actually I was a bit disappointed cause I wanted to see if I could go further. I know if I tried to do it again tonight I might not have the same result, I might have to walk. But maybe, just maybe I'd run further. This thought occured to me last night, I've been enjoying running this last year, not passionately but I've been enjoying it. Last night I'm almost postive I had what they call Runner's High. Me! I had that, if I'm honest I still have that.
I didn't stop there though I went and did Body Pump and Zumba after that. By the time Zumba happened I was wearing down, but still crazy. I'm a gym person, I'm runner. If anyone had asked me a year ago if I'd still be doing this, if I'd be at the gym three hours a night, if I'd be racing and excited about that. I would have slapped that person and said no.
I guess for me maybe my scale and I have a love hate relationship, maybe I'm not seeing the pounds just melt away, but I'm stronger now. I 've got little muscle showing through. I'm fast, I'm a gym rat. My clothes don't fit just right, but it a really good way. The scale and me we will have our day one day, maybe soon maybe not but it's coming. As for the rest of it I can't wait till the next victory.