Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Hold on to your hats ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to introduce myself as someone who has always wanted to find my own way to do things. I wanted to learn to read before I went to kindergarten so I could learn the way I wanted. Of course this is not the easiest way to go through life and I am catching on most of the time that using the help that's offered is often the easier way to go. So joining Sparks has been a real education. I love the opportunity to encourage other people, to enjoy the successes and feel compassion when things turn out less than what they were hoping for. But for me to be willing to submit to someone else's arbitrary calorie assessments for my choices was a little too much. But on the other hand to watch my little character not even budge on the weight loss tracker even though my fitness level has made a big increase was frustrating. But was it frustrating enough? And how could I have any credibility if I haven't lost any weight?
I saw a quote on a SP page that said "Courage is not having no fear. It is finding something else that is worth more than your fear." What if I try to control my calories and fail? I will disappoint this anonymous person/computer, other people paying attention to me on the site, but most of all me. So why should I use the help offered to me?
My choices are: to remain the same, encouraging and to continue gaining a little weight every year. Or, drop out, feel like crap and get depressed. Or, bite the bullet (how many calories?) and get my caloric intake under control. That's when I read the quote about courage. It's time to be courageous. I'm more afraid of depression and getting obese than failure.
AND. AND I DID IT TWO DAYS IN A ROW.