Wednesday, March 20, 2013
I am fitting into my clothes better now. They are not as tight, so that has given me some confidence to rotate in some other clothes - that I'd stop wearing because they were uncomfortable. I am beginning to get comments on my weight loss and believe it or not I not sure I like that.
Why? (a) because people are noticing me (b) they want to know what I'm doing - are you okay (c) I am succeeding and maybe deep down inside I don't want to succeed - Munchhausen diet syndrome. I haven't shared my weight loss efforts with friends or family (I mean my son knows but as a teenager he's oblivious to anything but the laptop). My mom said to me on Monday, you must have run that weight off you look smaller (she was picking me up from the airport when I returned from the marathon). One day earlier this month, a ran into 2 former running buddies (they are just buddies now) and one said you lost weight. On both occasions I didn't have to respond. My mom is okay she's like my son - whatever you do is fine. But I am fearful that others like my running buddies will judge and think, 'we'll see how long that last'.
Within myself, I probably am having doubts that I can achieve it. One side of me is like go for it and the other is like you won't be able to maintain this. So Angel says don't worry about maintenance, let's get there first. I see the ying and yang in my choices:
Run for 7 hours - Eat chips
Switch Fries for salad but select ranch dressing
Lose weight - hope no one notices
Participate in 5k - you run too slower (walkers are faster than you)
Member of 50+ pounds to lose or Slowest Loser (SparkTeams) - that's just an excuse to not lose weight
I read on Sparkpeople how we are so hard on ourselves and we should talk to ourself as we would a friend. That's one tool I try to combat this critical self. There is the other tool of turning the negative statement into a positive statement - or daily affirmations (Love Yourself Love your Body & Positive Bloggers -Sparkteams). I enjoy my virtual sharing with Sparkfriends and I look forward to tips on dealing with real confrontation.
Another Lovely Day.