Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Right now I'm feeling frustrated, angry and unhappy. The only thing that kept me from stopping off for a bottle of booze tonight was that Chopped was coming on and I didn't want to miss the start! How pathetic is that?
Today at work my boss decided it was time to detail my failings again. She and the lead rep did this standing at my desk for the whole department to see and hear. I actually felt like a scared six-year-old. I could feel myself shrinking back into my chair, and I got the shakes. She ended by saying that I'm not in trouble and she thinks well of my abilities, but it sure didn't feel like it. This couldn't have been done privately in her office?
I have a co-worker who's decided my job function is to cover her a$$ for her. She has actually said, "I don't know how to do this so you have to do it for me." I've told her a couple of times that I'll show her how and then she can do it for herself. So far she's not interested. Also, this afternoon while she was at my desk with yet another situation she wanted me to fix for her. she had her blouse unbuttoned up to the bottom of her bra and her pants were unbuttoned and partially unzipped! I know that at the end of the day we're all uncomfortable, but come on! Maybe I'm just an old fogey, but I think some things are just plain inappropriate.
I feel so walled-in right now. I'm following Weight Watchers half-time right now (which I do realize is better than not at all), but I have to do it full-time. Seriously, I'm the woman who wants to go to New York and Ireland (and of late New Orleans as well). I can't even get myself to go to the grocery store or the laundromat! The way I feel right now, getting to Ireland feels about as likely as marrying Bobby.
I'm dying to face-plant in a tub of mac and cheese and swill a couple of giant cold beers (don't worry, I won't).. I know they're only crutches, but sometimes moral fortitude alone just doesn't feel like enough.