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What or who are you Sparking for?

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Hi,

I remember reading a similar question when I was first introduced to the wonderful world of Spark and I actually compiled a list. Here is a sample of that very list

1) I want to lose weight
2) I want my husband to be attracted to me
3) I want to be fun to be around
4) I want to have more friends
5) I want to be able to shop in stores other than plus-sized ones
6) I want to prove my mother wrong
7) I want my brother to be proud of me
8) I want to get on my doctor's scale and not hear him tutt tutt
9) I I want to look pretty
10) I want to be happy


So, can I have a resounding OMG! That is actually what I thought about when I joined Spark. There are some bitter truths buried in those "wishes for the future" and my only wish is that I could go back in time (2.5 years) and give the old me a hug.

A lot of my desires speak volumes about the state of my self-esteem back then. You don't have to go on and read any further if you not want to but feel free to join me as I examine that list more closely.


1) I want to lose weight (well, yes, ultimately I still do want to achieve this goal and I'm setting up achievable plans)


2) I want my husband to be attracted to me ( it took me a very long to realized my husband married me for my personality and humour too! The problem was with me not liking who I was)

3) I want to be fun to be around (Again, I had to learn to like myself first)

4) I want to have more friends (I really only had a few close friends and thought more friends equalled me feeling better about myself. I've realized you can have a thousand acquaintances but they won't be there when you fall on hard times)

5) I want to be able to shop in stores other than plus-sized ones (I learned to dress the body I have now and not the one I want in five years. I'm gradually giving away my shapeless clothes that really hid my weight and my personality)

6) I want to prove my mother wrong ( my mother's opinion is just that....HER opinion)

7) I want my brother to be proud of me ( deep down I'm pretty sure my brother loves me and is proud of me just the way I am)

8) I want to get on my doctor's scale and not hear him tutt tutt (I have asked my doctor countless times for help with losing weight. The next time I go I will bring in a copy of what I eat and the amount of walking I do. It might not change his opinion but at least he will see I'm trying)

9) I I want to look pretty ( okay, what girl doesn't want to look pretty? I can only work with what I was given but the point is I can try to make a bit of a difference.)

10) I want to be happy (wow, that's a doozy. I can honestly say I'm more happier in my skin than I ever before. I am exercising, I'm trying to eat healthier options, I've made some amazingly progress with my self-esteem, and I love Spark and all of my friends.


So, who ARE you Sparking for? I'm finally doing this for ME!


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLITT62 3/22/2013 3:52PM

    That is a great list!

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BOVEY63 3/21/2013 12:54PM

    We have to "do it" for ourselves for sure! For too many years I have tried doing it for everyone but me and then I ended being the one left behind.
Having friends like you, who have been where I have been, sure does help in moving ahead for us!
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KANSASROSE67 3/21/2013 12:03PM

    This is such a great blog! I have come a long way myself, though I still have to work not to be the shallow, insecure girl who lived in my body for 30+ years. You are an inspiration, Susan.



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JAMER123 3/21/2013 1:33AM

    Wonderful blog!!! Very insightful and inspiring. I am Sparkin' for myself!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ILOVEMALI 3/21/2013 12:22AM

  I love your blog!! Good for you!

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TXGRANDMA 3/20/2013 11:29PM

    GREAT BLOG! Sounds like you have done a lot of growing up since you first made your list! emoticon

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PONYFARMER 3/20/2013 11:25PM

    We are all on a path to growing. As I have gotten to know you better we have so many things in common.

Loved this look back blog. I need to blog more but just do not seem to have the time.

Thanks friend for allowing me to be a fly on the wall of your journey.

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EJOY-EVELYN 3/20/2013 11:14PM

    You're so beautiful . . . I love your snow angle photo and am so glad you have reached some terrific revelations since your rather meager Spark beginnings. That's part of the life-long learning process. You've come a long way, dear. May you continue to see your true value as I already know you're one of the most priceless and inspirational SparkPeople around. WooHoo!

It has been my personal goal to try to quit beating myself over the head, when I invest quality read time with friend's blogs when they do not visit what few blogs I tend to publish. Then I somewhat start all over again and if I don't hear back, I've considered dropping my subscription to their blog. I have dropped subscriptions both subconsciously and consciously. (Now look who has self esteem issues!) My goal is to remain honest in all that I do and pray that my Lord is glorified by my enthusiasm, gratitude, joy, and overall example. I'm sparking for God in an attempt to treat His temple (my earthly body) with the respect due it.

Comment edited on: 3/20/2013 11:15:25 PM

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NIKKISCHROE 3/20/2013 10:08PM

    Awesome!

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SEWINGMAMACDS 3/20/2013 11:31AM

    emoticon

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JOANNANOW 3/20/2013 10:20AM

    It seems that you do have more friends if you consider all the sparklers that follow your blogs. You have most of what you were looking for and the weight will come off as you perfect your menus and keep on walking. emoticon
I wish you could hear my doctor... saying" you know what to do"' he never says TUTT.
I think you do know what to do and you are on the way to a slim Susan. emoticon

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ARTJAC 3/20/2013 12:03AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAYDE53 3/19/2013 10:21PM

    emoticon and so true!! The goals I had at first now seem silly, and I have replaced them with much more realistic and valuable (to me) goals. Great blog!! emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 3/19/2013 9:46PM

    Love your blog and I think you are doing awesome! You are a beautiful Spark Friend and I appreciate you!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LYNNWILK2 3/19/2013 6:31PM

    WOW SUSAN!!!! what incredible work you have done! you are beautiful and you are fun and funny, you have a heart of gold and I hope you print this blog out and put in your jar so that you can read it again and again!!!!

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SILVER1369 3/19/2013 6:20PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KARENCRANER 3/19/2013 6:19PM

    Sweetie, I LOVED this blog. It was touching and honest. I'm so proud of how you've changed the way you look at yourself. I look at you (your image is finally attached to your username:) ), and I see a pretty and vibrant lady that I would love to hang out with. Because I know you a bit by your blogs and comments, I also see a caring individual willing to give to her community, willing to travel toward a healthier self, and willing to reach out to others. I'm so proud of every step you take and proud to be your Sparkfriend!

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HEALTHY4ME 3/19/2013 6:04PM

    PERFECT and I too could have written this blog, but in the past year have done as you have and learned that I am okay just the way I am, but I want to be healthier and fitter.
HUGS as we find ourselves, but will say at 56 I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up!


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KENSHO 3/19/2013 6:01PM

    Wow, I love this blog. When I started here at spark 4-5 years ago I could have written most of your list. I too am leaps and bounds away from that woman. I too would like to go back and hug her and maybe give her a little shake too. Good for you. I hope you continue on the path you're on because we can only do this for ourselves. and ps....I LOVE that picture. You really do look genuinely happy!

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