Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Today I woke up with the fear of sabotage. I have my meal plan already laid out but I still had this gnawing feeling that if I got up I was going to walk into trouble. By the time I got dressed I was already feeling that sinking feeling that I was going to fail today. I resolved this by doing some stretching exercises to prove to myself that I am in control and the only person who can destroy my success is me. This took away the feeling for about 30 mins. I see myself doing a lot of mini exercise sessions today.
I know that part of my fear today came from watching my husband eat the last few days. He does not want to limit what he eats, has no interest in exercising or watching what type of foods go into his body. He has been this way his entire life, I have decided that I cannot let this impact my choices. My success is up to me. When I accept this I am more conscience of what I'm eating and how it impacts my life. I love my husband with all my heart and knew what he was like when I married him. Yes, I did let his bad eating habits seriously impact my life for the last ten years but no one forced me to. I've eaten foods that I never dreamed of eating and I want off this cycle. Blaming him would be an excuse to allow me to not succeed. I know he is happier when I eat his way but as much as I love him I love life more and have too many things that I enjoy doing that can't be done at this size.
This is day two. I will be successful today. I will be the best Tami I can be, I will think how my actions will impact my health and others around me. I will be a role model today.