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The Ramblings Of A Lady Quitter...Or Not...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

I had a great run yesterday. Probably one of the best long runs I've had in quite some time. A fellow sparker suggested using a Jeff Galloway interval training schedule to follow in prep for the half in a few months. I started using it this past week and must say I loved it. The long run was completed in a way that I don't normally complete them...feeling good and comfortable, not out of breath and all tight. I completed the miles and had a big ole grin on my face with an awesome feeling of satisfaction.

It's not all pretty though. I am discovering new things about my body and its response to this higher mileage than it's used to. It loves the run while it's running; it's about an hour or so later it likes to shut down a bit. It only happens when the mileage increases or my speed changes as it did yesterday. Maybe I'm not fueling properly, or it's just how my body reacts. Whatever the problem is, I will figure it out and deal with it. Feeling like a zombie on Sundays isn't my favorite way to spend my day off.

I must admit I do amuse myself with my thoughts of giving up, throwing in the towel, finding "good enough" excuses to not continue with this goal, to berate my body for having the nerve to react so abnormally to an abnormal activity and doing all of these things only "after" the hard part is finished. I find myself looking for any and all excuses not to push forward, and then the next day I continue on with that attitude only for it to be replaced with my normal attitude by evening time. Say what?! I've seen this happen a few times now during this training and I just have to shake my head and accept that it's just a strange part of me.

I toss around the thought of "fear of success" sometimes. Maybe there's a fear of knowing that I am capable of so much more than what I'm already doing. Or the fear of what other things I'm going to discover about myself on my journey to this goal. Why would I not want to succeed and learn even more along the way? The first answer, for me, is because it might be painful. Not only physically, but emotionally as well. The second answer is because once I learn something, I've now become accountable and to live a life that is true to myself means respecting that. That could bring more needed change. Sometimes I feel like change is my shadow nowadays.

As this evening progresses, my gentler, go-get-um attitude has returned. Looks like I will need to explain to my ever-so-tolerant love that the ramblings of the lady proclaiming she is quitting is, once again, just a bit emotional.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thoughtful observations about your own process. I agree. Facing ourselves is often the hardest challenge of any. We can just store those a-ha moments in the memory banks, eh? Nice job pushing through the challenges, mental and physical.--!

    1722 days ago
  • NEWTON1068
    great blog...make sure your fueling up after your workout with some protein or a soy protein shake. this will help your muscles recover quickly and rebuild for the next big push. I''m rooting for you. love from Ohio,Karen
    1725 days ago
    You can do it, just take time to analyze what is happening to your body!
    1729 days ago
  • 123ELAINE456
    Awesome Blog. Never Quit or Give Up. Replace the thoughts with Positive Ones. Keep Pushing Forward. You Can Do It. This is THE WAY TO GO!!! This Lifestyle is Great. You are a Success. God Blessings to You and Everyone. Have a Great Day. Take Care.
    1730 days ago
    My body isn't always in tip-top shape after a long run either. I have found that refueling properly & in a timely manner (within a 1/2 hr of stopping) helps. I always chalk it up to being old :)
    I so get your 'fear of success' issues. I think I'm right there in the 'I've now become accountable' area. Life for me is a constant learning experience, always working towards the end prize of attaining. And Yes, sometimes its rough emotionally. Sometimes it sucks being a grown-up, seeing areas that need improvement & then being accountable to make those improvements - mentally, physically & emotionally.
    Thanks for sharing your journey. There is comfort in knowing I'm not the only one &/or we are not alone in this.
    1730 days ago
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