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The Non-Blog Blog...keeping on keeping on, essentially

Monday, March 18, 2013

Dear Sparkies,
(at least, those of you who remember who I am!)

I have been such a stranger of late. I'm sorry. But it's just one of those things...

STRESS - from heading the search committee to fill my own position - which I will retire from in August 2013.

OVERLOAD - from catching up on all the planning I should have done last fall which I didn't do because I was dealing with the choir trip to Italy.

GUILT - from not even being able to deal with my own photos from Italy - beyond getting them ready for the big choir reminiscence party - and since then I have done ZERO with photos...

GUILT - from gaining weight. Yep. Maybe not too much but in the last week I don't even know, since I haven't stepped on the scale for over a week now. My clothes say I've gained, but I'm not too flabby - yet - - - -

And I can't even say I'm making a fresh start here! so in Spark positive terms I am a true failure. But I AM HERE.

SPRING WILL COME. Weather here has been nasty. But I could have done more indoors. But I haven't. Ah well. Spring will come.

My Fitbit is the one item that saves me. I look at it, and sometimes I am convicted to do a few more flights of stairs, or some more squats in the kitchen while the tea water heats, or a set of wall pushups in close position...

I have not completely succumbed to binging, even though there have been days when I bought a bag of HEALTHY CHIPS, knowing full well that I would consume them before the evening was gone...

So why am I writing this completely nonsensical blog?
To let you know I am still here and still trying in my nonsensical way.
And that I appreciate the likes and comments that you have left on my updates, even though I have been miserable about reciprocating.
I remember you all and I care.
I will be back.
emoticon to all and a marvelous Easter season, even if you don't celebrate it - go out and do an Easter bunny hop for me!
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Lots of love from Sarawalks
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    i see we've each missed each other's major stress periods. you know, sometimes it just can't all get done. i gained some weight in the time i wore the brace and couldn't do anything but walk awkwardly (and upper body exercises which were too boring) ... but now i'm back and i hope it will come back. i bet you didn't find anyone nearly as good as you to replace you, either... are you looking forward to retirement? i wish i thought i could ever afford it ...
    so let's keep in touch better, ok?

    1691 days ago
    I am sorry I missed your blog! It is good to read you are finding your fitbit so useful! Many Sparkfriends have said the same and that is really great! Anything that can help us move move move!!! :)
    Hang in there, it will be better soon. emoticon
    1691 days ago
    Take it from a recent retiree, the time leading up to the big day reminded me of the end of a school year. The day will come and none of the old things will be important anymore. Congratulations on your milestone.
    1702 days ago
    Hi, Sara. I totally get it. Glad you made contact. I'm not very Sparkly myself right now.

    My daughter and grand-daughters are coming for a visit tomorrow - for a week. We are not Christian so our version of Easter is coloring eggs and having a little egg hunt in the garden. (We are bad: our version of Passover is no better.) Since they are not going to be here on Easter, we just figured we'd do it whenever, but my 7-yr-old just learned how to read a calendar! Uh-oh, she's mad.

    Let's talk more about the retirement thing.


    1703 days ago
    So many of these things will melt away into the ether of distant memories. Best wishes on coping until then. You can do it!
    1703 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    It's not at all a nonsensical blog, dear Sara. Life piles up sometimes (and often some pounds follow). I hope you find someone worthy of the position, and I hope you make some progress in the projects that are contributing to you feeling overwhelmed. For some reasons photos are a daunting project for many of us. Is there someone who could help you, or just keep you company, as you set the photos in order? I was happy to see a blog from you, to hear how you are doing. emoticon
    1703 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    YOU are not a FAILURE! Sure you coulda, woulda, shoulda... done more. Let go of what Fly Lady coined Stinkin' Thinkin'. So you haven't gotten everything done perfectly. And oh my, you've gained a bit and ate things you know aren't the healthiest. You should be flogged.
    Really though, you are going through some major life changes with getting ready to retire. You are also very busy and a little stressed. That does not make you a failure. It means you are living your life. Sometimes we put our healthy living on the back burner to cope with a certain situation. Then all of a sudden a small spark sets off a reaction (FitBit?) and it comes to our attention again.

    The only failure is to not keep moving forward. You can do it!
    1704 days ago
    Hey, I coulda wrote much of this- but we're truly here again, truly reaching out for help thereby, because we KNOW deep inside, this is where we need to be. We need to be healthy for ourselves! You can do this again. Little steps!
    1704 days ago
  • CELLO23
    Hi Sara,

    Great to hear from you! Sounds like you've had masses on your plate - no wonder you're feeling stressed. These times happen, and sometimes you just have to ride it out and not be hard on yourself, then energy comes back. I've also been a bit out of it lately, just getting it together after flu and work overload - you will too! Less stressful times are round the corner. In the meantime, be good to yourself and know that we're thinking of you! Good that the fitbit is acting as your mini-trainer.
    Yes, it will pass!
    PS forget the guilt - no point! Shake it off like a dog shaking off water. :)
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    1704 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/19/2013 5:16:21 AM
  • 55WALKER
    You are in no way a failure.
    And you are aware of where you are with things, so good for you!
    1704 days ago
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