Monday, March 18, 2013
Just as there is no prep course for parenting --there is also no prep course for widowhood -- at least that I have found. My husband passed away in December and the bills are still coming in, so I'm not even able to budget yet as I have no idea what will be left to budget.
A really enlightening task was tax prep. I had not been involved in that before so really did not know what was allowed for deductions and what was not. Thank goodness for an accountant that was familiar with our financial situation.
But the adjustments are not just financial -- something as simple (at least it used to be) as cooking a meal -- I am finally starting to eat meals, but so far am still standing at the kitchen counter to eat -- and if I'm really involved in a project, I just skip a meal and continue on. Not good for a diabetic, and I know it.
And the "aloneness". Is that ever taking a lot of getting used to. I have never been accountable to just me before. There was always someone else around that needed meals at a certain time, someone to clean up the clutter for, someone to just share a bit of news with.. Our children do not live near me, but I do have 3 grand daughters who are fantastic support -- but they are very busy with jobs, husbands etc.
So just a bit of advise -- Really get inivolved in your situation. Know just how to maintain your home, and your financial security. Who do you call when something electrical or some plumbing needs fixing. Who is a lawyer you can trust. At the age of almost 80, I'm even having to learn how to grocery shop as my husband did it all before. And have a hobby you can really get engrossed in. I don't drive after dark, so had to leave the nursing home fairly early. How wonderful it was to come home, go to my sewing room and lose myself in working with fabric. That is still my stress reliever.