Monday, March 18, 2013
This is defined as a dogged perseverance. I have lacked this for quite some time now and the revelation hit me pretty hard this past week. I have been humming along wondering why I haven't seen much progress and why I always feel so frustrated. I have developed an apathy towards my fitness and nutrition that is being fueled by a lingering fear of commitment and failure. I discovered a love for bouldering about 6 months ago. Climbing is a really mentally tough sport and it has made me face things I haven't wanted to face. I don't commit to a route, I don't try to push myself, I haven't wanted to fail, and I just want my excuses to be valid. They aren't valid. They are just ways to keep myself from reaching goals I have set for myself. Now that I am aware of what has been really keeping me from progress I can work on it. My first step is to go further than I have before- go for a new hold I have been afraid to go for, jog for another minute when I feel like stopping, accept happy thoughts when I want to shove them away. I need a new perspective on commitment and I feel it taking shape!