Finally Feeling Good Again
Monday, March 18, 2013
I don't know if it's because I only had to work my full-time job yesterday or because I was off today or what, but I'm in a great mood for the first time in a long time! Life, it seems, is good.
Honestly it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders when I decided to quit my retail job. I'm proud of myself for giving it a genuine try and even more proud that I am able to acknowledge that my health and well-being is more important than my bank account. In the past I continued to slave on in misery because I put money before myself. Well, not anymore! Sure, things are going to be super tight and I'm going to be struggling financially again. I believe that I can still be happy and go out and do fun things, though, once I readjust my budget and get used to it.
My few weeks with the second job has also increased my affection and respect for my primary job. There have been times where I've gotten whiny and lazy and even called in sick because I didn't want to go - or I just hated the idea that I had to go for money's sake. Now, though, my perspective and commitment has been revitalized. Nothing like a crummy part-time job and a slew of 16 hour work days to make you appreciate what you had!
I also thing I did pretty darn good in the food department this week! Even though I ate out twice, I'm confident that I kept everything in balance and at the worst I went over by two hundred calories once. That's a huge improvement for me. Interests in healthy cooking has also revisited me, and I'm excited to repeat last week's habit of cooking five day's worth of food up front to have healthy and pre-portioned lunch and dinner options ready to go.
Oh, and I'm also happy to report that I'm getting interested in fitness again! It might be the warming whether, but once again I find myself wanting a membership to somewhere with a pool so I can swim! I love to swim and have no problem burning thousands of calories in one go. Last time I checked there was one gym nearby with pools, but the membership was about sixty bucks a month and way out of my price range (plus the pool closes at 8pm, which doesn't work with my work schedule!). There isn't a Y in my town, but I think there might be one or two closer to my work - I've never been to one before so I don't know what their rules or memberships are like, but I'm interested in finding out! It's weird that the idea of fitness excites me, as normally the idea grosses me out like no other.
Recently my mind is also overwhelmed with the possibilities of the future. I want to progress and succeed, but in so many areas! I've been drawing more; should I rekindle a past love of costume design, or look into 3D animation? Ever since I was little I wanted to be a writer, so should I take another stab at that? What about going back to school and getting my PhD? Haha but would I go back for rhetoric, or English, or Creative Writing or Costuming or something? Haha I haven't the faintest clue as to what I should do because the possibility seems so endless!
Even though it's nearly midnight, the night feels quite young for some reason, like I have more day than I actually do. Not sure if I should force myself to go to sleep now and wake up to a new day tomorrow or ride this emotional/creative high and see what things I could create or discover tonight. So many choices! Haha.
Please forgive me. I'm a bit high on life right now. Today was an oddly amazing day. On my friend's lunch break at work we ate and chatted, and then oddly enough the only person to respond to my query about seeing a museum exhibit was my ex-husband. Somehow we ended up going to see a Bernini exhibit in Fort Worth together and ended up having a good time. From what I could tell there really wasn't any awkwardness. We talked like we would have before we got romantic, enjoying the exhibit and talking about art and culture and theory and architecture. Afterward we had dinner with some friends and played a board game at a leisure bar drinking cider. There was no tension, which was a huge relief! It really does seem like we can not only be among friends together (I honestly think a lot of our friends have strayed from one or both of us because they're afraid of having us together and unconsciously "picked" from the two), but we can be friends just him and I. It's too early to tell, of course, and I'm sure the unpredictable winds of youth and ambition will sweep one or both of us to places unknown, but in the hear and now it's nice. He's the only person who will go to "boring" places like museums and art exhibitions with me anyway.
I suppose I'm going to end my evening with an indulgent bubble bath and a mini-facial, then prepare for a super-productive day tomorrow! On top of cooking and cleaning and whatnot, a high school friend who is into cosplay agreed to help me make a dress for when we go to Scarborough in April! I'm super excited to get my hands back into the game of design and construction - plus I've never dressed up for a Renaissance festival before, so that will be fun! If it is a success I'm sure I can post pictures if anyone is interested.
Well that's enough chattering out of me! I hope everyone had an amazing weekend and are ready to have a strong start to the week!