Sunday, March 17, 2013
FIrst of all I went out with my aunt today while hubby worked and I'm totally exhausted!!!!!!!! But it was nice to go out with her, it felt like we were mother and daughter out for the day it's something I never experienced before, she wasn't mean to me I wasn't feeling like I had to be defensive it was just a refreshing day out with my aunt who has been more of a mother to me in the last few years than I've ever known... (hubby worked).
I can barely move right now because I really over did it , but the pain is worth it cause I actually had a great time and as we were out my phone rang and she said oh I bet that's your dad and sure enough it was I didn't answer the phone as I didn't want my day to be ruined by him saying the wrong thing .....
We went to a few stores and out for lunch and I have to say this time spent with her was making wishing why she wasn't my mom instead of the unloving one I got.
Then hubby came home and son had to go to CCD and so we went to see my dad and the time was limited because we had to pick my son up, I told my husband to say when we had to go (he was upset about yesterday). It's not that he didn't say thank you about the sandwich that got me so upset , it was all the nit picking he did for a good 45 minutes and then him telling his roommate how he and I mean HE got all that stuff from the VA , he said he made all the calls and that hurt because I did all that for him.
So went to see him today and it was cold out today , breezy and my dad went out side at the home and they ran after him cause they thought he was escaping and then was laughing about it to me and my husband. He said he was sick of waiting for someone to bring him out and so he went on his own, he doesn't realize that his actions aren't funny that these 2 girls that went out with no coats could be taking care of someone who needs it and that they could catch a cold going after him, just because he wants attention.
You know I didn't think it was funny cause throughout this ordeal all the stress has been on me as I'm his medical proxy and just the stress alone of caring about him and loving him I just couldn't believe he did that when he already has pneumonia then to laugh about it , it really felt like a slap in the face to all the things I've done for him to try and keep him alive and all the sacrifices I've made in my life.
I told him that wasn't a good thing to do especially when you already have pneumonia and he just turned to me with a mean look and said all right enough out of you as if I was a 5 yr old and he was dismissing me. You know I don't need this crap!
He has no idea the amount of stress I've been dealing with because of him, I honestly don't appreciate him doing something so careless , he had the girl walk him around the building and she had no coat on and he was laughing about it.
I just don't know how I'm not like these people so uncaring , mean and unloving towards people.
I was so glad to only be staying for a 45 minute visit today, honestly I didn't even want to go but bad weather is headed our way again. I don't need to get thick skinned I need to be treated like a human being, someone who deserves respect for doing nice things and showing love, something these people really aren't capable of I feel like I've been being played and manipulated by my dad , brothers and nephew. I just don't know how they can live with themselves they way they treat people.