You all know that I do not blog regularly, not even to get the extra daily points. Most of the time I just do not take the time to put down my thoughts. Several times when I have begun blogging, it took so long midnight came and went. I either posted on the next day or not at all, copying and saving for another time (which usually doesn’t come to pass). Another good deal of the time, well, I am just plain boring with nothing worth wasting your time reading. There are so many EXCELLENT blogs on Spark ! It is really intimidating for me to write.
The last 2 weeks I have been in dire need of comfort and support!!!
No one knows except my dear Jack. I am even too ashamed to tell my best friend. In fact I waited 4 days to tell Jack.
Amazing, the stress eater that I am, the troubles have NOT negatively affected my eating. In fact, I have probably been eating LESS for a change! But sleep – forget about it.
You know they say to cheer yourself up, help someone less fortunate?
Well, I have been trying that since BEFORE my 3 years of unemployment.
Our house is paid off - She moves about every 18 months into cheaper but worse houses with exorbitant heating/cooling costs. One winter month her heating bill was $650.00!
Our car is paid off and reliable - She has had 3 cheap, old, used cars that need repair/maintenance every other month AND guzzle gas.
Besides Jack, I have 1 EXCELLENT best friend – She has only ME.
Jack and I both have college degrees – She quit school at 16, after her mom kept moving them around so that she went to 8 different schools. (I encouraged her to get her GED. Even she was surprised when they told her she went to so many schools!)
Before being laid off, I had a good-paying job which I LOVED – She has been a job hopper, always only making minimum wage. But several times her hours were cut and the companies changed her from full to part-time, so she would change jobs again trying to get more benefits
Jack also had a good-paying job which he LIKED – Her husband had a good job (well, over minimum wage) at a factory for 14 years. But like most factories, it closed 9 years ago and sent it’s production overseas. With only a high school education (and 4 years fighting in Vietnam!), he could not get anything except temporary and part-time work – when he was lucky.
Although you have to admire him in a way, he was foolish for being too proud and NEVER applying for unemployment or food stamps!
Jack and I have ALWAYS had life insurance just in case
Jack and I have ALWAYS had medical insurance through our jobs – 90% of the time she didn’t
Except for being overweight, Jack is pretty healthy. He has walked at least 5 days a week for over 6 years - . Her husband had cancer, hepatitis and cirrhosis. (He was sprayed with that Agent Orange in Vietnam, and was fighting for benefits when he passed)
I have Jack, for 32 ½ years of wedded bliss – Her husband passed away last year
No insurance and she is only 43 – too young for SS benefits
We have our WONDERFUL son Matthew – She had many miscarriages and prayed for a child for years.
8 years ago an acquaintance asked her to look after her baby for a couple of hours.
A couple weeks later, again. Then again, for all day. Finally, one day she left him and NEVER CAME BACK! Through friends she learned that the mother had moved from Tenn to Texas! She got legal custody of him. But against my urging, she never adopted him. So now she can’t get SS benefits for the kid either!
Jack and I have ALWAYS had car insurance and never any problems - She never had any until right before I was laid off, when she was stopped and cited for delinquent tags and no insurance. Before then her car was burglarized and messed up
Jack and I have ALWAYS had homeowners insurance and never any problems - She has never had any and her house was struck by lightening. She said the water damage from the fire department was about was bad as the fire!
Jack and I have ALWAYS had sick days at work, a GREAT employee benefit.
2 years ago as soon as her medical insurance waiting period was up, she scheduled surgery for edometriosis. Well, I realized she needed it because she was anemic from bleeding 3 weeks a month. But with a 6 weeks recovery time, no sick days, no saved money while not being paid, I tried to talk her out of it.
Well, NO. She had it and WE had to pay ALL her bills for 2 months !
(Side note: last month she told me they had started again and she was going to have to have the surgery AGAIN!)
Enough boring you with that. (I probably left out some things too!)
So, all-in-all, I AM a pretty lucky gal !
Well, for the first 7 years, hardly a month went by when she didn’t have an emergency of one kind or another. Food, gas to get to work, medicine, clothes for the growing kid, car repair, dentist, doctor co-pay, rent, utilities. Never less than $50. Some months $75, some $600. Sometimes multiple times in the same month. The last 3 years, monthly rarely more than $150 – because I no longer have it!
ASIDE : I am NOT A SAINT ! I am NOT bragging!
I grew up very poor. I KNOW what it is like to have NEXT TO NOTHING!
When things kept going so well in my life, I decided the best way to show God my appreciation for all the blessings was to SHARE with others.
I gave you all the details to show how much time, effort and money I have put into this rescue relationship. It was like she just couldn't get a break.
What BEGAN as trying to get someone on their feet has turned into a NEVER-ENDING money pit which has wiped out almost all of my 30 years savings (except for retirement, which I can’t get to. Oh yeah, she and her husband had NO RETIREMENT money.) Along with money and sympathy, I always tried to give her books and advice on money, organization, life, etc. She has NEVER taken a lick of my advice. About ANYTHING.
It has been SO FRUSTRATING to TRY to HELP someone who keeps making the same FOOLISH choices over and over. All these YEARS and all this MONEY to no avail!
Well, the FINAL STRAW came 2 weeks ago. She called that she was out of gas and needed $$ for it. Then she added, “I need your phone. I’m out of minutes.” I asked, “For how long?” “Only today. One day. Maybe 2.” So she got my $200 cell phone.
That’s been it. No phone. No word. No contact.
I gave her a couple extra days, then began calling the phone several times a day.
Never answered. Kept ringing until they went to voice mail.
I checked on the account, in the first 9 days, she
** Used up all my minutes, send emails, downloaded from the Internet AND racked up almost $200 in overcharges and fees! **
Well, I had calmed down a little after typing all her misfortunes
Now I am MAD again !
I had the phone de-activated but have not reported stolen. I got the lists of phone numbers she has called and received.
Some are all over the country – from California to Florida !
I called most of the local ones.
Most no one answered.
Some denied knowing her.
Finally one number was a half-sister. That was Wednesday. I explained that SHE had borrowed my phone and I needed it back. Would she PLEASE tell her to get in touch with me!!! She said, “Yes. I will tell her. I am supposed to see her tomorrow.””
Still NOTHING !
I am at my wits end !!!!!!!!!!
Jack is upset that I have been duped. He has always thought SHE was a worthless cause, but since it was MY extra money from MY salary, he said that I could do whatever I wanted with it.
??? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ???
PRAY for ALL OF US !
I want to do the right and correct thing.
But I am hesitant to get police involved. What would that help- she doesn’t have money to pay the bill ?
If you have ANY suggestions at all, they are welcome.
THANKS for letting me vent.
THANKS in advance for your prayers and good thoughts.
One important thing that I have learned:……
Spark Friends are REAL FRIENDS !
Hope you had a Super Sunday
And a HAPPY ST PAT's DAY !
Let’s Have a Wonderful Week !
LOVE and BLESSINGS !