WARNING! rant is coming!
okay, some of my triggers... to binge eating...
if i am stressed out
if i am angry
if i am sad
if i am frustrated
if i am doing well with eating healthy (really if i have been doing well, i "DESERVE" it right?)
i eat one "bad" thing, i have "blown" it for the day, might as well!
if i am tired, or exhausted
late night snacking
well, this is just a quick list, believe me there are MANY MORE...
darn, i am SOOOOO disappointed in myself. heck, did i even read my blog on MY GOALS, that i wrote earlier TODAY??? i haven't worked out in two days (13 hr and 16 hr shifts at work), and i am still catchin up on sleep today, so i am quite tired today. so... why not down 4 cookies? too tired to work out. what the heck??? i work again tomorrow (another 13 hr shift) so i won't be able to work out tomorrow either.
when one of these "triggers" comes along, my mind goes into overdrive, and seriously, before i can say, "birthin' hips, turkey underarm fat" i am eating like crazy! i don't even give myself a minute to breath and figure that i am about to go down the road of GUILT, in about 3 minutes. i don't know HOW to "catch myself" so i can stop before i binge.
then of course, let the self guilt, self loathing, self deprecation, self shaming begin. *UGH* followed closely by being "a failure, why even try, you mess up ALL the time."
believe me, i want, need, long for my ideal weight and fitness! i want it so bad, sometimes i cry myself to sleep. (wow, THAT was pathetic, eh?)
in my blog, "my goals", i even know the steps to GET there.
so WHY do i keep doing this to myself? i know, cut myself some slack, don't be so hard on myself. yeah, i get it, but if i am not hard on myself, i will NEVER get it done... you know, "tuff love"
sorry, this is a "bit of a downer" today, just cheesed at myself for not sticking with it...