Hello! Happy St. Patrick's Day!!
I hope that you are all well and happy.
A very odd thing happened to me today. They had a "banquet" (mostly potluck) at Micah's bowling league yesterday to wrap up the league's year. I didn't know about the potluck part, so we went to the nearest grocery store to pick up some cookies, but Micah saw this Blueberry coffee cake that he really wanted, so I bought it. They started with awards and trophies and to my surprise--but certainly not Micah's--his team took first place. He was so proud of that and the fact that he raised his own average 13.88 points per game. I recognize that as being significant. After that were some announcements and then the meal.
We went through the serving line and I had a hot dog because it was the lowest calorie item that I would eat. I only ate half of the bun and I had some fruits and veggies. However, I just couldn't resist and had a slice of that blueberry cake that we brought--which was a surprise to me given the fact that there must have been twelve or more different boxes of cookies there--and there has never been a cookie that I didn't like.
Anyway, I had the cake and enjoyed it greatly. My son had great taste for a kid and he could have selected a lot of more "kid-friendly" foods like brownies or cookies that most kids would have selected. (If I had realized what we were walking into, I would have gotten a roasted chicken to have had a far better choice for myself.)
So why am I telling such a long story about my lunch? I came home and reorded the meal in my tracker as usual. I planned to lighten up the rest of my meals for the day because I knew that I had overdone things. However, that plan also didn't come to be because my husband started dinner while I was at the fitness center and I ate as usual. The reason I am telling this story is that I went on to eat as always--we had grilled burgers for dinner cooked on our indoor grill along with veggies and fresh pineapple and strawberries. When I did my tracking for the day, I knew that I had went over my allotted calories for the day. AND I WAS WRONG!! That is what surprised me.
I am really surprised when I realize that I have learned to make good choices even when I am not thinking to do so. I was surprised to find out that that piece of cake I chose was 155 calories over however many calories the cookies might have had, depending on how many I chose to eat. I controlled what actually went into my mouth a lot better by choosing to slice that cake and take a piece that kept me from returning to the table. I also enjoyed that cake a great deal because I am a berry fanatic and the blueberries were so good. I didn't hurt my daily calorie intake and I didn't mess up my week either.
What does this mean to me--and probably to you? When I started working here almost 4 years ago, I had a lot of knowledge and my habits were those to have instant gratification, eating anything that suited me in whatever amount suited me. I have learned how to make good choices and to eat the proper portions. After practicing this for all of this time, I have built some habits that aren't even obvious to myself, let alone others. People don't notice me calculating calories or points in public, but they notice me enjoying my food at social gatherings and fitting in with everyone else. Since I now weigh over 170 pounds less than I once did, people also don't notice me as the extremely obese woman shoving food in my mouth either. That is a nice side benefit. I will admit that when I was at my heaviest, I never overate in front of anyone. I ate a small amount as part of my own deception to myself and others that I must be having some strange sort of problem that caused me to be obese because I didn't shove a lot of unnecessary food in my mouth.
I want to share what I now know and do--and I credit Spark People with this. I don't feel a need to eat things because they are there. (I don't have to taste things because I realize that I know how they taste and it isn't necessary to have it at that moment.) I know that if I really want it, I can have it and I know how much to eat to be satisfied by it. I know how to make choices from even the least "low calorie possibilities." I have learned to eat like people who maintain a healthy weight--and I don't have to fret, check a book or computer anymore. I know how to eat to live. I don't live to eat anymore. I didn't realize that I now do this naturally. That was my big surprise. I was worried after I ate that cake about the problem it might cause for me--and when I got home and could track my food, I was not off my program. I don't know if this seems like an accomplishment to anyone else, but it tells me that I am a "normal eater" these days. In the past, I either dieted or I gained weight, but I didn't do "normal."
I am very thankful for this. Again, I don't think when I started losing weight some 4 years and 170+ pounds ago that I would be here. I think I simply expected some of the same old, same old. This is going to be a day of celebration for me. As I work on reaching my goals and losing this last 20 pounds I am working at, I feel better as a person. I still have big orthopedic issues that are a part of who I am, but I no longer have heart issues, depression, asthma, etc, etc, etc. I am still working and living and have my life. I certainly look better and still receive compliments on how I look with people noticing my current weight loss. My doctors are constantly pleased with me.
Thanks Spark People.
Thanks for all I have learned.
Thanks for this community and all of the people who are supporting me.
Thanks to those of you who support me day after day here.