Wanting to be skinny then not wanting to be skinny-changing perspective and looks(with pics)
Saturday, March 16, 2013
I admit when I started wanting to be healthier, vanity was part of it. I HATED wearing the large dress pants and oversize blouses. Being reminded of how overweight I was didn't help me to forget it either-even now, several years later I remember how I felt then-the depression, anger and hopelessness even as I was beginning my diet and exercise regimen.
If only I were skinny I thought. I would walk past the 5-7-9 store in the mall and dream of shopping there as I would head to Lane Bryant's. I could shop in any store if I were skinny! Sadly pulling on my size 20 (which were tight at the time)exercise pants, I longed to wear shorts that weren't billowing around me. Oh the things I would do if I were skinny! The places I would go, the things I would do!
But now..now that I am in maintenance mode, I've realized that I don't want to be skinny. I want to be healthy. I want flexibility, healthy digestion and heart, and muscle to shape my body--I don't want skinny any more. Skinny was the vanity dream I had longed for--healthy is the reality that I aspire to now. And that goes a longer way indeed.