Saturday, March 16, 2013
I had an appointment with my therapist today. She specializes in EMDR. If you have ongoing depression, or PTSD that does not seem to get better, definitely look into EMDR. It's amazing. If you have any questions or want to discuss this type of therapy, message me. I'm an open book. I know how isolating mental illness can be for people, and I don't believe in hiding things. I believe that if you want to know, just ask. I'll tell you.
Anyhow, things are starting to come together. It doesn't happen overnight, and I know that. But she's helping me find the strong woman I have inside somewhere. She's helping me find me again. I already am starting to feel it. It's not very strong yet, but there is a tiny seed that is there. I honestly believe it may be possible for me to be strong again. I know this seed will grow as I nurture it.
I am so tired. It's been a long day. I was so anxious most of the morning. That was actually the first thing we had to overcome in the session today.
There is supposed to be a storm coming in tonight. I will be home tomorrow - it's Sunday. Hubby got a phone call today. He has to go to work tomorrow. So that will give me some time on my own in the house tomorrow. I still plan on going through all the clothes I have here, and getting rid of almost all of the ones that don't fit me. I discussed it with hubby today. He agrees. I will keep a few absolute favorite items. The rest will go. When I loose the weight, I will go shopping. Notice I said when. It's that tiny seed. It's still very VERY tiny, but I honestly believe I just might be able to reconnect with my inner strength and get this weight off.
So for this week, I'm supposed to focus on staying grounded. And also focus on making sure my environment is comfortable and safe feeling. Make sure I have everything I need to be comfortable. I tend to get cold at work, so I have to make sure I have everything I need to be warm enough. My therapist told me today that for my mind and body to heal the inside, I need to take care of the environment. For one, being cold will stop all progress. My body will start to stress and focus on dealing with environmental issues, rather than the internal ones.
I'm feeling pretty drained right now. Time to rest.