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it's been long enuf; might as well write somethin'

Saturday, March 16, 2013

I am at that point in my journey where I feel like I am watching all the action from the sidelines and I am a little distracted by everything else happening around me. I have logged into Spark every day in the past month, even if it is for just a few minutes to check a friend's blog or check my page. But I haven't been inspired. I have no desire to go back to the person I was, but I just want a semi-normal life. I understand that I will never be the girl who can eat whatever I want. I also know that exercise must be a regular part of my life. I am finding it difficult to do them both simultaneously on most days. Somedays I am ashamed at how I have either eaten or that I have skipped a workout especially when I know that I have Sparklers out there that are working so hard and are not taking their loss for granted. When you know better, you should do better. Right now my best isn't good enough.

I feel "fluffier" than usual. I look heavy (in my eyes). But despite all of that, I am pegging along. Yesterday it was a nice 58 degrees in Omaha. I got off the plane, relaxed a bit at home and then I went on a walk/run. After being in California, the temp was a bit chilly for me. I started off walking. I then told myself, "the only way to deal with this cold is to make your body hot - start running." So I began jogging. I jog past the lake, down the street and then I turn the corner to see my first hill. I don't take a break, I run up it. I feel my lungs want to burn and I tell myself, "You know how to breathe, so do it!" I got on top of my breathing, turn the corner and there was an even greater hill than the last. I tell myself not to look at how big the hill is, concentrate on the ten feet in front of you. As I am doing this A man walking his dog passes me and he says, "This hill is hard work! Good job!" I gave a quick nod and kept breathing and running. I got to the top of that hill and began the jog down. I kept going until I got to the end of the block and I took a walk break. I typically have a saying: Keep running because it is harder if you stop. Sure enough, picking up the run again was a little difficult. There I was starting and stopping every several blocks or so. Finally, I get to jogging again and I tell myself, "Try a faster pace - it may be easier." So I RUN. Not jog, but RUN. I only make it about three blocks at that pace but I was proud. After that run, I decide to walk the last 7 blocks at a quick pace. When it was all said and done, I did three miles in 40 minutes. I was shocked when I got back to the car and seen that only 40 minutes had passed! That moment made me realize that as hard as I have been on myself, I am still on track to reach my goals. I CHOSE to walk those last 7 blocks and I could have jogged some of it. I chose to walk several times. And I wasn't TRYING to reach any special time stamp. I was just exercising. Proud moment.

Also, yesterday, I registered for THREE races - one in April and two in May. The first one is an 80's themed 5k, the next a 7k trail run with beer and the last one is another Color Run. So while I may not feel my best right now with where I am at, I am convinced that I will outlast this rut that I am in. I wish you all the best of luck and encourage you to just keep pushing. Keep at it until you find your inspiration again. Being SLIGHTLY on track is much better than being lost in the woods.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon You're doing great!
    I'm inspired!

    1676 days ago
    Amen! Glad you still have a spark or two left in ya!!! Great job on the run/jog/walk. I'm sure your engine is running low as you do SO much. Hang in there were here supporting you the best we can as you always do for us!!!
    1677 days ago
  • KNH771
    That was a great time on that run! Having races to prepare for will help with the consistency too. I love the idea of an 80s theme 5K. Pretty much all of the races here are straight runs for one charity or another. No themes. emoticon
    1677 days ago
    Good luck with the races! That is great :)
    1677 days ago
    Aren't those days amazing, where you are able to kind of talk yourself into it, and it ends up working out? Good job!

    We are all going to have ruts at times; it's part of being on a journey for the rest of our lives. The important thing is to recognize it for what it is, and get past it. You can do it!
    1677 days ago
    Just keep logging in....the inspiration will return....congrats on registering for those runs....they will help with that motivation!
    1677 days ago
  • DONNA5281
    emoticon for sharing your blog.

    emoticon emoticon

    1678 days ago
  • JENNY160
    Did you register for The Color Run in Omaha or for Color Me Rad in CB??
    1678 days ago
  • MISSB8604
    SO proud of you girl, truly. As you may have guessed, I too am in a rut and need to pick myself up. I've GOT to get it together. Let's do this!
    1678 days ago
    "Being SLIGHTLY on track is much better than being lost in the woods." True! And an 80's themed 5k sounds REALLY fun!
    1678 days ago
    great blog have fun
    1678 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    Great run/walk! I wish I could get to the point of running. I know I will with time & patience. Any hoo, find what works for you when it comes to food & working out and then JUST DO IT!! emoticon
    1679 days ago
    good work on the workout!

    I go through phases too. Sometimes I am with it! I am focused! I am eating right, working out, losing weight, doing everything right.

    Sometimes I am pigging out, skipping the gym, ordering pizza and gobbling cookies in my sweatpants.

    It happens. It's life. I think finding the right balance is much better than forcing yourself to be all or nothing.

    Thanks for sharing!
    1679 days ago
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