Over the past few days, I've been upset about my knee, not having time in the am to workout. I am very busy with school, teaching online courses and my new job. AND, I have to keep my family happy (and myself while doing that!). I came to the realization that it's ok not to worry about not working out EVERY day. The body needs rest. I am enjoying my rest, enjoying talking more with my family and relaxing when I can with my pets. This is good pondering time. I am also being great with my calories and coming to really get back in touch with my old self; eating great, limiting the overeating (actually none this week), and enjoying it.
I also was pondering (during one of my ADD episodes), how my mind wanders. I will attempt to convey my realizations here but forgive me if it's too blurry.
I have a problem with attention; I think we all do. We have too many stimuli to keep a focused mind during TV, conversations, meetings, etc. So today while at my class from 8-12, I was learning about very technical database geeky computer stuff and was beginning to get bored. I realized that and forced myself to pay attention. THe few times that I 'caught' myself getting off track and wandering in my mind, I noticed that my thoughts were RELATED to statements, words or things that were being displayed on the screen.
An example; my professor had the word 'definition' written on the board. I caught a glance during a bored moment and before I knew it, my mind was trying to connect that word with something familiar in the past. Sort of like a memory search. Soon, I was thinking about being young and getting my first dictionary (that is where you find definitions). My brain was looking for something familiar to connect with. Pretty soon I was thinking about my Dad who was the one who gave me that dictionary and soon, I was thinking about his passing in 2011 which I am still (and probably will never be) am not over emotionally. I realized that my memory led me down a path of past experiences with related artifacts of the word/statement/visual at hand. There were also times that I got so far off the beaten path (thinking about a poodle) and have NO idea how this happened. But there were a few times that I was able to catch myself before getting too far and make the connection of familiarity from the past.
Maybe it's me, but I think this is one of the most incredible discoveries I've made in the past many years. Science tries to put psychology in books and teach about brain function, but to actually experience first hand, how the memory operates is amazing to me.
I will use this to:
1. Focus on positive things that relate to positive past experiences.
2. Exercise can bring me back to a happier time in my life when everything was easy and mobility was not constrained.
3. I can use this to meditate on current visions and goals and relate those to past behaviors that have led me to similar success.
Call me nuts. But that's OK, because I loved peanut butter as a kid and love nuts (actual memory from writing that)....