A Slave to the Scale
Saturday, March 16, 2013
I was reading someone else's Sparkpage and I noticed that she had all these wonderful goals. Really well defined weightloss goals right out to her ultimate goal weight. It got me to thinking - I haven't set any concrete goals as in a NUMBER that I'm striving for. I think I've been too afraid of getting back into that obsessive mentality.
When I have lost weight in the past (and at one point I lost 80lbs) - I got completely obsessed with the scale and reaching or not reaching a number on it. I would literally weigh myself 5 times a day. I'd be upset if I wasn't 2lbs down from the night before (because of course you weigh more in the evening than in the morning). I became so tied into this number that continued non-progress would put me in a slump for days and it probably was self manifesting because I was so obsessed with it!
Then of course there were the months that I wouldn't get on a scale at all - because I was so fearful of what it was going to say. How much I had gained since I let everything 'go to seed'.
When I started back with SP, I didn't get on a scale for a week. I couldn't face it. But then I told myself that I had to face it, I couldn't measure how far I had come if I didn't have a base point to measure from. While I certainly didn't like the number I had to face it and accept it and decide that it didn't define me.
But then when it comes to the goals I had to decide whether I wanted to set weightloss number goals - whether doing that would make me a slave to my scale again. Get me wrapped up in the numbers and obsess about their movement or non movement when what I really wanted was to get healthy and strong.
But I've decided that I do want some weight loss goals - something to strive towards but in conjunction with that, a commitment that I will NOT get on a scale more than once per week. And trust me, there have been mornings where I'm feeling 'trim' and think - ooh I'll just check. But I haven't done it. In fact, I think I'm going to put the scale in the closet as opposed to the bathroom floor just so I'm not tempted.
So while I have set weightloss goals now, with dates that I'd like to achieve them - I will not let myself get wrapped up in the numbers. They're just numbers. They do not define who I am or what my self worth is. They are milestones with which I can set my progress against, nothing more.
There are other non-weight related goals I want to achieve too. Like I want to be a runner, I want to climb a flight of stairs without breathing so heavily I can't talk, I want to fit into all the clothes in my closet that I've grown out of, I want to be happy with myself and love myself (I suffer from depression and had a really bad bout of it over the winter).
Have you set numbered weight loss goals? Why or why not?