Saturday, March 16, 2013
...in less than 2 weeks.
Although this loss is something to be very excited about...it still seems like the amount of effort it took is disproportionate to the rate of success. It was a LOT of work. Mostly mental energy. I really hope that this mental energy is an investment into seeing myself through long-term weight loss.
Honestly?! I don't believe in my body's ability to do this. I believe in myself to do a lot of things.....I'm a successful musician, I successfully motivate a group of adults to be their best on a weekly basis, I have a husband and child with ADHD (and a daughter without) who seem to benefit from my motivational efforts on a fairly regular basis. When it comes to me and personal goals....I'm an excellent starter, not a great finisher.
So can I finish this?? I could simply type "Yes! I can!"....but I know that I don't yet fully believe that. I was a teacher for 10 years (just recently switched careers), and I motivated HUNDREDS of students! I've even been hired out for specific projects to motivate other musicians. And recently I managed to motivate our whiny renters to pay their rent. SO WHAT IS MY PROBLEM??
Sigh. I suppose a lifetime of not digging deep enough to know and understand myself. So begins my baby steps.....I'm just like everyone else who needs motivation. On the outside I'm confident, even successful, great at leading people to success...even large groups of people. Not so great at finding myself.
Time to strip off all the layers...figuratively and literally. Honesty. I fundamentally do not believe in my body's ability to do what my brain wants it to. This is why -6lbs shocks me. For now this means I follow a program, day by day. I ask for help when I need it. I will not hide my thoughts and feelings. My blogs may resemble verbal diarrhea.