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About Alaska-On the Lighter Side

Saturday, March 16, 2013

from 23KAIYA

There is no such thing as Alaskan Money, we are part of the USA and use american currency.
The Aurora Borealis or "Northern Lights" is not a man-made laser light show.
Alaska has more hours of sunlight in the summer, and like everywhere else, there are still only twenty four hours in a day. ( I had cousins in Spokane convinced that we had rotating days here, with as few as 12 hours a day in winter and 36 in the summer).
Alaskans don't have to lie (but a few still do, usually fishermen), because everything here really is bigger. If Alaska divided itself in half, Texas would still only be the third largest state. Alaska would remain first and second in size.
No, "frost heaves" are not something Alaskans get when we're sick of winter. It's a freeze-thaw action that turns roads into roller coasters.
No, "termination dust" is not what's left of the bad guys once Arnold Schwarzenegger is through with them. It's what we call our first snowfall, as in the termination of summer.
nd no, "breakup" isn't what happens when a love affair turns ugly. It's an endearing term for that special time of year when the snow melts and Alaska is awash in slush and slop the color of cow pies. (that time is now, 'spring' in Alaska)
Or the animal-rights activist who called the headquarters of the Talkeetna Moose Dropping Festival, demanding to know just how far the moose were being dropped and onto what surface. Taken by surprise, the volunteer who answered the phone shot back, "Three thousand feet from a helicopter onto cement." (moose droppings = moose poop)

Actual questions from tourists-
"When is the longest day of the year here in Alaska?" asked a tourist from the lower 48.
"June 21st, the solstice" came the reply."Oh, here too?"

How long does it take for a deer to turn into a moose?

From an anonymous worker who answers tourist's questions at the Juneau Convention and Visitor's Bureau: "A man called the main office for JCVB from Eureka, CA and asked what kind of power sources did we have in Alaska or did we still use kerosene lamps?"
Tourist lady: "Ma'am, can you tell me what time they turn on the lights?"
Alaskan: "What lights are those?"
Tourist lady: "Well, the Northern Lights of course".

A couple of executive types from out of town had chartered a fishing boat. One of them asked the skipper, "How do you deal with all the extra hours of sunlight in Alaska?"
"We have 48-hour clocks." replied the skipper.
One of the executives said, "That makes sense."


I may not be there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
Ann
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

INFLATED 3/20/2013 2:07AM

    The people have a sense of humor in Alaska.

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WALLAHALLA 3/17/2013 1:13AM

    emoticon

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ELSCO55 3/16/2013 10:50PM

    Thanks.

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FLAMENM 3/16/2013 9:31PM

    I spenta summer in Anchorage in the late 190s. This post brings back memories.

It also reminds me of all the "One of Our Fifty Is Missing." WHich is the collection of stories all New Mexicans have about people who really think that the 47th state isn't a state at all.

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123ELAINE456 3/16/2013 8:11PM

  Great. God Blessings to Everyone. Have a Happy St. Patrick's Day. Take Care. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment edited on: 3/16/2013 8:23:36 PM

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DONNA5281 3/16/2013 7:10PM

  emoticon blog!

emoticon for sharing!

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TEXASLYNN 3/16/2013 5:41PM

    LOL, well you may be bigger Miss Priss but at least it's warm here! Loved the blog!

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ANNIE924 3/16/2013 5:25PM

    Love it. I can relate - for a few years I lived in the Northwest Territories Canada.

The Northern Lights are too beautiful to describe.

Thanks

emoticon emoticon

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ANGELA76H 3/16/2013 4:51PM

    This is great! ;)

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NANCYPAT1 3/16/2013 2:41PM

    I enjoyed this. I love reading about the beauty and craziness of Alaska or in fact, most different places.

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NPA4LOSS 3/16/2013 2:20PM

    emoticon

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MARIANNE9855 3/16/2013 2:15PM

    Beautiful background on your spark page. My brother and his family live in Juneau- they really like it there but I would not be crazy about the bears that try to eat their garbage and wander around in their yard.

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LYNNWILK2 3/16/2013 12:52PM

    hilarious.
it is a different lifestyle in Alaska, but the same world...
great sense of humor!

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MISSG180 3/16/2013 12:49PM

    Oh, this does bring back memories. We used to joke that Fairbanks had three seasons: Winter, Breakup, and Mosquito. Trying to explain to people that seeing the midnight sun and the Northern Lights was not going to happen at the same time of the year....

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LIS193 3/16/2013 12:36PM

    emoticon

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VONBLACKBIRD 3/16/2013 11:17AM

    O my goodness this is funny...I can see someone asking about the deer to moose question..that is so funny!!! I don't think I could endure the winters there. We had 80F yesterday...lovely!!!

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GINA180847 3/16/2013 10:21AM

    By reading what you write I have a pretty good idea as to what is happening in northern BC while we roast in sunshine here in Baja.

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