Friday, March 15, 2013
My dad called tonight , first of all it's still windy here and didn't feel well again today and my son and hubby went to a concert. I'm glad I didn't get a ticket to go although I wouldn't cause this is their father son thing they do every year they go see the Drop Kick Murphy's around St Patty's day.
My dad called I was lying down he said oh you were sleeping I said ya I was laying down don't feel good and I'm home alone they went to a concert, so my dad said oh I guess I get no company today, I said how come? he said oh they left for Florida today (my brother, I hope he paid the TV bill before he left I'm sure he didn't).
I don't know how he gets so much time off of work they are in Florida all the time I'm actually it took this long to go again and then my dad was saying how my nephew is fixing up the place for him and it sounded like he knew that his place got flooded because he mentioned my nephew was going to buy him a new fridge ( I'm sure he won't buy it brand new more like used) .
So I said oh it ruined your fridge? so I ended up telling him about the flood and told him not to say anything, part of me didn't want to tell him, but I thought he knew at first.
I said and don't you give any money towards that fridge he has home owners , my nephew is doing all the work himself actually I think he's getting the place ready to sell because that's what he's been wanting to do, but now home owners can pay for it to get done cause of the flood.
I guess my dad thought I was going to go running down there believe me part of me wanted to , but I've been feeling like crap and I was there the other day and he didn't even want to be bothered with me and I'm not good enough when my brother is there but when he's not around I am? I can't allow myself to be used anymore the stress is killing me that comes along with being there for my dad and family.
I love him but I can't allow myself to be getting used as I have been, we'll see how it is once he's home my brother will be going for his 5 - 10 minute visits again once a week and I'll be the only one that cares again because there won't be an audience for the others.
I can't believe my brother went to Florida again he's been 4 or 5 times since my mom passed away in July, I'd of thought he's of at least waited till my dad got home but just showing he doesn't care, but I'm the only one that picks up on it.