Friday, March 15, 2013
I don't remember exactly when it started, but I remember being a charter member of the diet club before 10. I had to watch everything I ate, what I couldn't eat, and being a performer and model, evolving into THE EATING DISORDER CLUB was a very easy step. My whole self worth was based on a number, and I honestly cannot say when the last time I felt comfortable with food was, and I certainly don't remember the last time I truly liked myself.
But isn't that kinda the whole point? We starve ourselves, deprive ourselves, work out until we drop just to exalt a number on a scale or on a tag of a piece of clothing, becoming a slave to what someone has decided should be "our number"?
I have been 290 pounds, and I have worn childrens clothing, and at neither time do I remember being happy with myself. It just wasn't enough, because the whole root of the problem wasn't what I looked like, but in genuinely loving myself. It truly doesn't' matter what size you wear or what you look like. It is WHO YOU ARE that makes up the person that is you. If you are truly happy and healthy mentally as well as physically, then a number shouldn't matter.
But loving yourself, and appreciating who and what you are should be your biggest goal in life. Live it! Love you! Because YOU deserve to be happy.
I have realized that nothing to do with weight can define me, and I am so happy and excited to be here, to learn how to eat for my body to be strong, to be healthy, and to love who I am.
Nothing else truly matters then, does it?