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    WISTFULKATE   138
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I don't know...

Friday, March 15, 2013

I don't know what to write here, but I'm hoping that if I force myself to write here every day and talk about how I'm doing, perhaps it will force me to get stuff done so that I can brag here instead of admitting laziness and defeat!

I have never been thin, but I now see the difference between healthy plump and unhealthy fat. I am tired, I am sore, I am grumpy. I used to just have a flabby tummy, but now I have fat hands and feet. Sometimes when I catch myself in the mirror or in a photo, I feel like I can see the person I used to be staring out at me, underneath all the extra weight, she's in there somewhere. I want to be me again.

I am getting married on October 5, 2013. I bought my dress and it's a size 20. My arms look gross in it and I have an unhidable spare tire around my middle. My dress is BEAUTIFUL... I need to deserve this dress, I need to do this dress justice! This is why I want to lose weight.

I cannot wait to have children of my own. I am about to turn 30, so I'd really ideally like to have them in the next couple of years. I don't want to be too unhealthy to have a successful pregnancy. I don't want to teach my children to be a lazy emotional-eater like me! This is why I want to be healthy.

I took a yoga class and the instructor told us every day to set our intentions. Every day before we started our workout she told us to channel that intention and keep it with us throughout the session. I am going to try to remember to do this every day, when I wake up, when I choose my meals, when I decide whether or not to exercise... set my intention. I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy, for my future children and for myself.

DO IT, Katie, just do it.

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JOYFULGRATITUDE 3/15/2013 6:03PM

    Congrats on your upcoming wedding! I think the biggest prob you have right now is the negative self-talk. Focus on what's going right instead of what you perceive as going wrong. You have a great guy, loving family and awesome friends who all love you! Start a gratitude journal where you write down a few things you are grateful for everyday (no matter how small they may seem). Also, spin your negatives into positives. Instead of thinking about how flabby your arms are, think about what your arms can actually do. Can you hug your fiance? Lift a bag of groceries? Do ten pushups? Okay, now that's what I thought! I think it was Elizabeth Taylor who said she wore earrings, lipstick and perfume everyday (even on her "lazy days"!). Try that to raise that self-esteem of yours. Walk confidently, head up and shoulders back. You're well on your way to making very positive life changes! Happy St. Patrick's Day! emoticon

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