Friday, March 15, 2013
Hi all, I finally feel like I'm on the path of getting partially back on track in life. This last month has been a little rocky. Recently had issues at one of my jobs, so left and started this week at another, except different hours so I'm adjusting, then I'm also picking up more hours at the hospital to make up for being off for a week. Haven't been eating so well, due to stress, pain, blah feeling... and how much I was drinking again. But today is Day 5! And I am 'recovering' a little better than last time I tried to conquer sobriety. That time was really difficult, the withdrawal was very strange. Had to be careful that time. This time, I feel good today, for that part of myself. I'm in pain in some of my joints, and hurt in my spine still. And am extrememly fatigued as always, but I am looking forward in getting the phone call from the specialist this next week.
I know working as much as I do isn't probably good for me... but we need money, and I must keep myself busy. I enjoy working, even though stressful, my mind is the devils playground, and it works against me sometimes. I look at this way, my struggles, mistakes, flaws; are adding up to what is going to make me shine someday. I'm battling alcoholism, eating disorder, health problems, weightloss, depression... that is alot to take on and live everyday, and I don't ask for pity, or attention for it. I just have to keep thinking, believe it or not, someone else out there does have worse than I do. And I'm lucky to have the ability to admit and announce my issues that I strive to make right someday.