Friday, March 15, 2013
Part of this weekend's challenge is to clean, and for today I chose the no-man's-land in this house, otherwise known as my home office. And I do call the space under the desk ni-man's-land, mainly because it doesn't get cleaned/vacuumed very often, what with the bad knees and all. But today I tackled it, and with my obsessive nature, of course I had to look at every scrap of paper I pulled out. One was a red oval paper, and when I turned it over, I was surprised to see a photo of a woman dressed all in blue. Looking at the background, I'm pretty sure it was taken at church, but I was confused on who is was. Then I was shocked to see that it was a photo of ME! (I hate having my picture taken, always have, so there are very few photos of my awesome self!) But there it was, in all it's 247-pound glory.
I didn't recognize myself because I had no idea I looked that heavy, that I would wear clothes that are bulky and make me look even heavier, that I looked older than I do now, because of the weight. But my next reaction was who in their right mind would take a photo of me, trim it to size, and make a Christmas ornament out of it? Who could possible be so cruel?
But the more I look at it, the more I like it. For one thing, I don't look like that anymore. One breast-reduction surgery and forty or so pounds later, I'm a new person. Even my hands look thinner now! I don't wear bulky clothes and I don't dress in dark colors to hide my size. I still wear jeans all the time, and now I'm pretty sure that I would smile in every photo someone dared me to pose for...
But most of all, it's good to be able to compare my thinner, happier self with my used-to-be. I think this shocking photo will be given it's own page in my journal, a good way to see how far I've come.