Friday, March 15, 2013
Have had a couple of rough weeks, the shots that helped my back stop hurting have now worn off and i was almost back to where i started. The good thing is I didn't gain any weight but I didn't loose any either. I tried hard to remain positive but it is so hard when you can't move your legs. So I went to the doctor, he gave me a prescription for some steroids to help relieve the pressure and next week I am going to take therapy for a month. This I hope will teach me what exercises I can do to minimize the pain and get back to being active.
This week we found out that dad has cancer it is to far along for surgery and they give him less than six months. I cried for a long while, but dad says "I have lived a long happy life if its time its time. Don't be sad be happy for all the good things that I have had and done." I am still sad, but as always his outlook is upbeat, He has helped to raise 9 children and had a marriage that lasted 55 years. Mom has been gone for almost 5 now, with each new thing in his life he adapted and stayed positive.
I am trying to live by his example, but it is so hard.
My ex-husband has been released from the hospital and has decided he wants his family back, so I am also dealing with a person stalking me at work and home. He calls me at work and at home and writes me nasty letters. I have 12 to date, tomorrow i am going to the police to get an order of protection in hopes that will make it all stop.
I am writing this to help deal with it all and an attempt not to feed my frustration.
The positive things that has happened this week:
My daughter has become engaged to a wonderful boy she has been dating for the last couple of years.
My cat Bella just had 5 beautiful and healthy kittens.
and my best friend just figured out that he loves me, I knew it for a long time, but his knowing it makes all things wonderful. He paid off my car for me for valentines day, because he knew I was struggling to make the payments. He gives me a strong shoulder to cry on when the going gets tough and he has taught me that I am a person well worth the time and effort that it takes to make me healthy. This is the important thing for me, he gives me self confidence and loves me as I am and not what he wants me to be.
So the horrible things balance out with the things that are happy in my life. So i guess I am just living a normal life. Good things and bad things happen to all of us, its how we handle them that makes all the difference.
Thank you for listening to me babble.