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    LANCE992   42,078
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In a rut and also without realizing it...

Thursday, March 14, 2013

I can totally relate to a member blog I just read by ALESHAWALKER where she said she felt unattractive to her husband.

I don't feel like that, thank goodness. I just feel like that here lately whatever I do to help mom is not good enough.

I have tried without success to feed her while she has been undergoing chemo and also dealing with nausea and she has eaten food, but, nothing mainly healthy.

The food she wants all the time is stuff that I know contributes to the nausea.

I mean foods like cheeseburgers and french fries (grease), chilli (fat and grease). Things like that, and that is not good for her I know.

She has not eaten anything AT ALL this week and just today was able to hold down a bottle of water.

That is the first solid thing she has had on her stomach all week...that has not made her throw up.

And then when I say anything about my eating or even when I make myself dinner, I do so with a guilt complex as I know that by my still eating healthy and the things I fix (smart ones grilled chicken and vegetables comes to mind, the one with teriyaki sauce)...it makes her sick she says to smell it.

I don't know what to do or say around her, or even how to act anymore.

Also I received a phone message from my friend who has been taking me to my weight watchers meetings regarding us moving out of state as this man works with me through the state of Ohio...and after I hear the message...mom says...with a really hurtful and hateful tone...you aren't still considering staying in Mason, are you?.

What a way to make me feel bad, mom.

Thanks for letting me vent.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOM_OF_1 3/14/2013 5:51PM

    Sorry to hear that your going through sooo much... I will keep you & your mom in my thoughts & prayers....

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VINTAGE2FAIRY 3/14/2013 5:12PM

    One more thing - possibly the type of cancer she has is contributing to the loss of appetite and nausea. And right now, in my opinion, whatever food your mom can eat be it healthy or not if she can keep it down its okay. When she gets past the chemo you can help focus more on healthy eating. emoticon

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KRUSSELL35 3/14/2013 5:10PM

    Lance seeing my father go thru his chemo treatments off and on for almost 8 yrs you can't push them into eating nor drinking. When they feel up to it they will. Offer her some of her favorites healthy or not...if she eats that's great. Gotta keep a wall up...they get a anger but its not your fault...we have to put ourselves in their position. My parents use to fight about him not eating or drinking and I had to smooth things out...make them both understand...
Good luck and keep your chin up..

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VINTAGE2FAIRY 3/14/2013 4:56PM

    Wow, it really sounds like you're in tough situation.. I'm a nurse and the first thing that comes to mind is - does she have medication to help with the nausea? If not is it something you can check into? Second, do you have any other help with your mom like home health nurses or nursing assistant? Third, having a life altering disease is really really hard for everyone and very scarey. Do you or your mom have any outlet like a group or therapist to help adjusting to what's going on? I empathize with how you feel. I'm sure if your mom wasn't as sick as she is she would be more appreciative of your help-more supportive in what you're doing for yourself. A lot of times when people get diagnosed with a disease terminal or not - they feel a loss of control and most of the time they go through the stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Look this up it may help you. Good luck and feel free to ask me any questions you might have. emoticon

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GOOSIEMOON 3/14/2013 4:49PM

    Sorry to hear of your family situation. Remember that caregivers need care too, so take good care of yourself! emoticon

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THINAGIN2 3/14/2013 4:28PM

    I had to deal with my mother when she was undergoing chemo and I think that they do not realize how they are making us feel. I tried so hard to do the right things for her but she was not to be pleased! I know that you are doing everything in your power to help her because you love her. I wish that I had words of wisdom to help but all that I can say is hang in there and try to enjoy the moments that you can. My mother is gone now and all I have are the memories. I know what you are going through!
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