It’s turning out to be a BIG MONTH as well as year for my grandson. Not only will he turn 6 next Sunday but his father just made 2 whopping announcements that will affect his little life in a giant way. The biggest of these is my grandson is going to become a BIG BROTHER in the fall! As one might imagine, he is excited!
His father announced this week that he is not only married but that he and his NEW wife of 3 months are pregnant with their first.
Here’s a little background: Our daughter and her ex were together for 3 years, married for 2 and a half. They separated January 09, and were divorced as of June 2010. Since the separation, her ex has had a revolving door of women running in and out of their son's life with one live-in arrangement for one year. Multiple quick relationships are not unusual for my ex SIL as this was also his MO before, as well as during his relationship with my daughter. His unfaithfulness was the reason our daughter ended the marriage. The man may be 31 but he is as mature as a, well, I won’t get into that.
Anyway this past November he broke up with one woman he had been dating for three months and immediately entered into another relationship just prior to Thanksgiving. Nope, no surprise there! However six weeks later, he and the new girlfriend Shannon woke up one morning and thought it would be a grand idea to get married!!
So off the two of them went to the local jail. Yes, I did say jail as the court house is closed Saturdays. Three days before Christmas, the two of them said I do with NO friends, family nor his son present.
Fast forward twelve weeks, they have now informed his son that they are married AND also expecting! Talk about a double whammy! As for the marriage part, my ex SIL did inform my daughter of the marriage back in December when it took place however he asked her not to tell their son yet. He and the new wife have had their first ultrasound and decided this week it was time to share all of their news with not only his son but their parents, family and friends as well.
So this year my grandson will turn 6, adjust to Shannon being part of his family, finish out Kindergarten in June, enter 1st grade in August and welcome his very first sibling into his life in late September. WOW! It’s definitely a lot to take in for someone so young. However I am sure he will rise to the occasion as well as be an
As for the new wife of the dad’s, our daughter is holding off for now from allowing their son to refer to Shannon as step mom however she is encouraging a healthy relationship between the two of them. Shannon 29 seems like a nice girl for what we have seen so far and know of her presently. Except for perhaps her "somewhat insane" decision to marry someone after only 6 weeks.
Especially in this day and age, after a failed marriage of her own. We can excuse the ex SIL on the grounds that he never has made sense and this is something he would do but seriously what was she thinking? She appears to be a smart girl except for this rather rash decision. Nonetheless I guess I can't fault her too much, my own daughter was under this idiot's spell too for awhile. Eventually she woke up, thankfully. Anyhow I have spoken to Shannon just three times myself so far and she comes across warm and friendly. She is an RN working currently on her Masters to become a Nurse Practitioner. She is Christian and attends church regularly. She was married before at an early age and is still VERY CLOSE to her ex in laws but not with her ex. She is communicative with our daughter. She has been to our grandson’s sporting events several times and most importantly he seems comfortable with her. She even asked my daughter this week if she would consider being like a “second mom or special aunt” to the new baby and be an active part in his or her life, also if she would like to see the ultrasound video as well as be present for the birth. She has asked my daughter to attend the baby shower as well in August.
Whew!! All of this in just one week certainly has my head spinning, so I had to ask my daughter if any of it is making her uneasy. She told me no, not at all. She said her feelings for her ex are long gone, and she has since moved on. She has put all the heartache of the past behind her. She knows exactly what her ex is like and why she left the marriage. Nevertheless she has worked hard on establishing a healthy communication with him, and vice versa, for the sake of their son. She is in a long term relationship with Dan now (3 years and counting), is happy and no longer concerns herself with her ex's personal life except when "his issues" affect their son. She insists on keeping an open dialog up and running but is also not afraid to speak her mind when needed just as she did when her ex told her of his 6 week courtship and quickie marriage in December. She added that her priority is that of her son and his well-being. As long as Shannon treats her son well, than she is fine with welcoming her into the mix. She says she likes Shannon so far especially the fact that she seems willing to communicate with her as well as accept the fact that “the ex” and her will continue to communicate with one another regardless of any relationships or marriages on either side. My daughter also told me she has already given thought to Shannon’s requests of this week. My daughter knows this new baby will be a very important part of her son’s life and therefore she has no issue with being an active part of her son’s new extended family.
I have to say, regardless of how difficult and drama-filled my relationship is with my daughter I must applaud her on the effort she is making as it pertains to these NEW circumstances in both her and her son’s lives. I feel she is showing maturity way beyond her years. Now no one can predict what the future will hold or whether my ex SIL's new marriage will last or not nevertheless there is a new life on the way that will forever be intertwine with my grandson’s. So CONGRATULATIONS GRANDSON! Pepa and I will do our part to help you in any way in your NEW role as BIG Brother. Your baby brother or sister is going to be awfully lucky to have you in his or her life.