Thursday, March 14, 2013
Had a tough day yesterday. Babysat for 4 kids aged 10 and under. Had a control struggle with the oldest, and came close to losing it when he told me that I can't tell him what to do because I'm not the boss of him. (Yeah, my teenager used to say that, too, but it's somehow different when it comes from another person's child, especially a kid you thought you had a good friendship with!) I ended up sending him to his room for quiet contemplation while I stayed with the rest of the kids. But it sort of escalated from there, with him refusing to stay in his room, and resulted in the rest of the kids getting agitated.
Felt horrible when I got home, mainly because I felt I should have handled it better. I called my hubby and asked him to bring home 1 cupcake. My reasoning behind this is that I could eat one, make myself feel better, yet not be tempted by multiple servings on anything. Well, he brought home a package of cookies.
So I ate 10 Nutter Butter cookies...
but they didn't make me feel better. It's now the next morning, and I still don't feel better. I still feel like I failed this kid somehow, and I'm worried about future friendship issues with him. Many people will say that kids bounce back quick, but my own younger son can remember every single parenting flaw I had.
I guess this means that I will have to face up to my feelings. Hiding behind an overload of sugar doesn't help anymore. I've gotten too smart for that. But I've got to say that facing my feelings is much harder than eating, and it hurts more...