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    VBPARROTHEAD   22,316
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A Nice Surprise

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Last night a friend called. She was/is in a town across the water from me visiting her daughter who just had a baby girl. She had been helping with the 2yr old but her sil has been home since the baby was born 4 days ago. Things aren't easy with the sil, he is controling and disrespectful and last night the rverbial straw broke the proverbial camel's back; so, my friend called and asked if she could come over for the night or two. My answer? It was yes, of course.
Well, she arrived, in tears. she had not even told her husband that she was leaving but he knew she had called me. After she got here her DH called and she told him what had percipitated her leaving. he understood and planned to talk to the sil. We sipped somke of Ed's scotch whiskey, talked, then did the best thing, we went to our beds.
My friend had not had a decent night's sleep in 2 weeks and lasnight she slept 1o hours. This morning, while waiting for her to awaken, I got a phone call and spent an hor talking with another friend who lost her huband 2 years ago. She is still feeling some of the same things I am, just not as intense after 2 years. Although I am sorry that she is still grieving I am glad to know that she understands and that it is normal for grief to not disappear as quickly as some think it should.
For lunch i was meeting more friends and my Texas friend who is with her daughter came with me. We had a wonderful time and there was laughter. We went to a restaurant that Ed and I went ot frequently but that I couldn't go to since October. Our favorite waiter didn't know about Ed and when linda told him he told the manager and the kitchen manager, both of whom we knew. They came over and hugged me tightly. That was the first time I cried today but the tears didn't last long and I was able to enjoy my lunch.
I excused myself and went to the restroom. While Iwas gone my friends from here asked my Texas friend how she thought I was doing. She told me so that I would know that they were concerned about me. she told them that I was doing well, grieving but nothing out of the ordinary. I guess that I am going to be alright, eventually.

Lord, my DC friend told me on the phone that I need to say that I am thankful to you that I am well cared for and amply funded. So, Lord, I thank you that I am well cared for by you and amply funded through your goodness.
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CASEYTALK 3/14/2013 1:02PM

    Crying because people who knew Ed ask after you and offer condolences is not a bad thing. It's OK if you cry every single day for the rest of your life. It's one way we deal with grief and if it's your way, let it happen.

You ARE going to be alright, eventually. In fact, my guess is that you're alright now. You're living, you're grieving, you're spending good times with friends. I don't expect you'll ever reach some sort of threshhold where you were not alright before that and you are alright after that.

Thank you so much for sharing your feelings here. You are showing the facts of grief -- you don't ever really get over it and there's no reason why you should. Eventually, the good days are more frequent and the bad days are less frequent. I think it's not good for society to pretend as if people can or should get over it or get past it. It changes everything. We don't 'get over' having someone come into our lives and we don't 'get over' having someone leave our lives. It changes us.

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