Wednesday, March 13, 2013
As some of you know, I started (and by starting, I mean somewhat attempting) P90X this week and it's really kicking my butt. And I'm even modifying most of the workouts so I don't collapse on the floor and die! haha
I decided I would take it easy today since I'm in pain and I'm already filled with guilt about not working out or doing cardio. I just started thinking to myself tonight, "Since when has working out become such a chore and burden to me? Have I always felt like this? Have I ever really enjoyed working out?" I absolutely dread starting my workouts because I don't enjoy them at all and just want to get it over with so I can track my calories burned on SP.
When I recall my younger days, I never had a workout regimen. I only had the outdoors to go on bike rides and sports to be involved in. To me, that was NOT working out and I loved it. I could spend hours doing what I loved and somehow (miraculously to me) I was always healthy.
These days, I am not strong enough or fast enough (or so it feels) to be involved in sports and recreational activities; I feel like I have to work myself back up so I don't look or feel like a fool. I know most people would reply that I shouldn't feel that way and just do what I love, but it's really hard...harder than most know. To add to that disgusted feeling of myself that I have, I just think about how easy it was for me to do those things before...and look at me now!
I know I need to work on loving myself for what I am right here and now and forever. But how do people stay interested? How do I make these workouts more appealing until I feel comfortable enough to join a sport? Does it go back to motivation and inspiration? What are your thoughts?