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    KATIEM929   86,983
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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

So yesterday I posted that I was really angry with my hubby who had decided that he's just going to pack up and move.

We talked last night and I explained that I can't just uproot our two kids and our whole lives just because he wants to join some Voluntaryism community. I asked him what he expected to be different there since we don't really interact with anyone here anyway. He explained that he doesn't like the government in our state and he wants to be included in a community that is actually working toward changing the Federal government, not just talking about it. He said he doesn't want to leave me, he wants to move there first to find a job and a place to live and then have me and the kids follow him. I asked what we were supposed to do while he was away and he said he could bring the kids with him if it's easier, but he hadn't thought about who was going to watch them while he's working.

In the end, he admitted that it's really just a dream and he's upset that I'll never see it his way. As much as I hate seeing that look of utter disappointment and defeat on his face, I just can't move away without a plan. He said he knows I'm the sane one and he's the crazy one...I do feel bad that he feels like I'm always shooting his ideas down. Then again, if he'd come up with ideas that are manageable, I just might agree with him... I don't like the government either and I'd do some things to change, but not this drastic.

So, I feel much better. He's not leaving and I think he'll be okay with it. He said he doesn't resent me for it and he'll get over it. I hope both of those statements are true.
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DISCIPLINE_DOES 4/10/2013 3:12PM

    Is he enough of a self-starter to start up a group such as the one he's looking to join? Find like-minded friends and just give it a go?
I love MARY REILEY's suggestion! I wish I had a spouse to put that into practice with! ;)
Best wishes to you guys!

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MARYREILEY 4/10/2013 10:43AM

    Heya:

I don't want to be too bold as I'm a newbie to your blog and page but I'd like to contribute.

My spouse and I have both been on the receiving end of dream crushing from each other and we have found a way to make it work (we've been married 22 years and have 3 teenagers). After a few rounds of knocking the wind out of each other's sails, being hurt and angry, we started a much more productive process of joint dream building.

We put on the table all of our dreams and aspirations and looked for those we had in common and those we could support in each other. This gave us specific concrete common goals towards which we could plan and act. It also opened up communications in a lot of other areas from how we raise our kids to how we spend-save our money. We still do this when a new idea or opportunity appears. It's exciting when we are working toward the same goal.

Hope I didn't overstep! Hugs, Mary

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SHAMROCKY2K 3/13/2013 10:19PM

    emoticon

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PENNYSAVER2 3/13/2013 11:10AM

    I'm glad that you both were able to talk about this. Hang In there. Take it one day at a time. emoticon

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STELLASMYBEBE 3/13/2013 11:08AM

    Wholley smokes! That is pretty drastic. Sending strength your way and hoping the things smooth out. :)

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