Tuesday, March 12, 2013
So much has been happening in my life these past few weeks. After discovering that my hypothyroidism is active again, I have been doing a lot of research on the disease and how to it is best treated. I have been dumb-founded to discover that many parts of my life that I have just been dealing with are linked to the disorder:
fatigue, weight gain, foggy memory, foggy brain in general, depression, loss of libido, brittle nails, edema (swelling)
I have attributed a lot of these symptoms (all of which I have) to depression or just working too hard. I had no idea that there were the result of too little hormones in my blood. My body is not getting the hormones or the oxygen it needs to function properly.
I have also learned that many women have this condition and that it goes un- or misdiagnosed frequently. It is also mistreated frequently so that people do not lose all the symptoms (they may remain depressed, overweight - despite exercise and healthy eating, forgetful, etc.). My own doctor is failing to provide the most modern care that is available. As I have been doing my research, I have decided to seek out an expert in the field and make sure that I am being treated in the most effective way possible. It has been tough to get an appointment, but I am determined.
In the interim, I have become much more forgiving of myself for experiencing these symptoms. If I am exhausted at the end of the day, I am not forcing myself to workout. I have tried to move most of my workouts to the morning.
I am also being more patient with myself. I have felt so frustrated by my forgetfulness and inability to concentrate. Now that I know this is due to a biological reason, I am just taking it in stride. Rather than giving myself a hard time, I am trying to ease the way for myself.
I feel that I have been given new insight into how my body works. Sometimes I think that if I just do everything right, then my body will be and remain perfectly healthy. This leads to a lot of self-blame when I feel tired or get sick. I am beginning to understand that this is not my fault. I haven't failed or hurt myself in anyway. My body is working as hard as it can, and it needs help. That is okay. It is not because I have done something wrong. In fact, getting the care I need means I am doing something right!