Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Ive still been bad at regular blogging, but I have been making (slow) progress over here. I think I'm finally under 180 again but I'm hesitant to move my tracker because I don't want to have to move it up again if I'm wrong.... This morning I weighed myself in pj's and it said good things, so perhaps tomorrow I'll make it official.
I really like that, at my new job, there is a treadmill and a stationary bike in the "community room" right next to my office. Nothing too fancy but it does make it a whole lot easier to get myself to exercise :)
Since last time I blogged I've ended my old job, started my new job, went through a mini meltdown (at home), went through a breakup, and then went through a full blown meltdown. Life is hard. In the fall of 2011 I started trying to take control of my anxiety but then life kind of happened and it got put on the back burner- graduating college, moving, no health insurance. Boo. So for a whole now it's been slowly getting out of hand. For the most part it was the demise of this relationship the first time back last fall, and now I'm going to pin the blame on it again.
The whole anxiety thing is weird. I can't really blame him for ending the relationship because quite honestly I can be awful to deal with at times. It's just an awful feeling to know that once I get everything "fixed" this time there's not going to be a reconciliation. Blargh, this is getting off track but it's in my brain.
Anyway, since my Level 5 meltdown last week I've tried to buy myself happiness, which hasn't exactly worked but I have got myself some new clothes and a pretty nice haircut. I've gotten serious about working out (before I was only mild about it) because I know that the activity will help with overall well being. I also have a doctors appointment this afternoon to see what we can do about this brain I have, make it work a little better.
My roommate and I were also discussing Mercury (the planet) and how it is apparently in retrograde right now, until March 17th and we're pretty convinced that's why everything is so mucked up lately. At first we laughed and joked about it, and then we did some searching on the Internet and were surprised what we read.... Seriously, google search "Mercury in retrograde" amd read some things. Kind of cool, right? Also, it's keeping me hopeful that things will take a positive shift next week because I have too much darn negativity lingering everywhere :)
On that note I'm going to stop rambling and telling the Internet my woes. ;)