Those are all of the emotions I'm feeling these last few days. What the heck is going on??? I am thinking it is likely that my sudden symptoms of depression are due to quiting smoking (today is day 4). For example, yesterday there was an accident on the freeway, causing my hour long commute to be 90 minutes. I wanted to cry. Why? Not sure. I was headed to the walk in clinic to get my feet looked at so I was frustrated knowing that I wouldn't get home until late. I get to the doctors office and they said it would be about a 45 minute wait. 90 minutes later, I get to see the doctor. I didn't get home until 8. I ate dinner and went to bed - which meant tossing and turning for 2 hours before falling asleep.
Not to mention - I got the info I had been waiting for yesterday (several weeks ago I mentioned that I might have some big news). Well, one of my former bosses wants me to come work for him again, but at a different company. Same line of work. I originally quit the job with him because I hated the ownership, my hours and pay sucked, and I was offered something that seemed better. Took that job, which was even worse, but led me to the job I currently have. What's wrong with this job?? It is 30 miles away from home, my supervisor is a "mean girl", another co-worker is worse than that. And everybody likes to talk $#!%. I'm sick of it. Oh, and I'm a people person but talking is frowned upon in our office and my job is such that I have little contact with the outside world..
So, this other offer seems very tempting. MUCH closer to home, more money (though mostly commission based, so slightly risky), I'd get to be customer service/sales again. I told him I'd only come back if I could work days and have weekends off. Which he has told me is just fine. My fear is that taking that I could end up in a similar situation there. What if I hate my co-workers? What if they hate me? I didn't get very good looks from the women I'd share an office with when I was getting a tour of the building. It's in an industry with high turn over.... how will that affect me? Ugh... so many questions!!! So, I am meeting with my former boss after work today to see if I can get anything answered.
Oh, and the doc said exactly what I expected. Platar fasciitis. Foot stretches and anti-inflamitories (but since it took so long to see the doc, the pharmacies were closed so I can't pick up my prescription until tonight). No running for 2 weeks, minimum. I could really use a good run right now to clear my head!!!! Since I didn't sleep much last night I skipped the gym AGAIN this morning. I have to get back to it tomorrow!! I miss it! Those of you who have had plantar fasciitis - do you think the step mill is an acceptible form of cardio? Or walking at an incline? I didn't think to ask those questions last night. He did say I could do ST and yoga though.
The bright spot in my day - our new bed will be delivered and set up by the time I get home! I am hoping to sleep like a baby tonight! Then get to the gym tomorrow and kick some @$$. And hopefully feel like I have some control over life again.
Anyway - if you made it this far, thank you for reading my pitty party blog. In all reality I know I've got a great life and these are not real things to complain about. But right now - right now my emotions are all over the place and I am having a rough time. Thank you for understanding.