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    CREEKLADY1   34,781
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Depression

Monday, March 11, 2013

Anyone that has ever went thru a pain loss of a loved, goes thru depressed and can't seem to get over it. I did when I lost my son in January of 2011. It has took me a year and a half to get over "hating" the people responsible for my loss. No one knows the pain of losing a child, unless you have experienced it yourself. You think you do, but you have no idea. I didn't want to get up and go to work, I did't want to walk thru the door of the place where I had viewed my son laying on the table in the ED. But I soon realized I "HAD" to get on with my life and get back to living. Nothing I can or could do, will bring Matt back, so I knew I had to turn my life around and do what would be best for me. That was making peace with my own mind. I can honestlly say I can now forgive the persons responsible for my loss. I've come a long way. Don't get me wrong, I still miss my son so very much, and he will always be in my heart and on my mind. But now I know I can live each day with a brighter future because I learned to deal with my loss. Each day I wake up, I promise myself that today I will be a cheerful person with a smile on my face. Let me assure you it is hiding a pain that will never go away, but it can be liveable. It's up to the individual how they decide to live after a terrible loss in their life. Me.... I decided I do not want to be bitter and cold. I want to live my life as best I can, with a smile on my face and a love in my heart, Try it folks..you might find you like it also!
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WANTTOPLAYAGAIN 3/13/2013 10:00AM

    Sending positive thoughts your way. Wishing you a life of love and joy in honor of your son - and strength to carry on.

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SUNSHINE20001 3/11/2013 9:30PM

    I am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your son .I don't have kids so I know
I couldn't even begin to understand the depth of your loss. I am a daughter though, and I am sure your son would be very proud of you and that you were able to try to move on and live the best life you can. Keep on smiling! emoticon

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MTULLY 3/11/2013 4:49PM

    You have been through a terrible loss, and my heart goes out to you. I am in awe of your courage and decision to go on and live your live as best you can. I especially appreciate your specific goal to put a smile on your face. There is just something about a smile that makes you feel good, as well as the people around you. You can bet that is going to make a difference!

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--DEA-- 3/11/2013 2:54PM

    This is probably something you've heard many times but I'm gonna say it again just in case. Do you think your son would like you to spend the rest of your life grieving or would he want his mom to live the best life she could possibly have? I understand a thing or two about grief, and sometimes you can even feel guilty for having a good day, but you must must must understand that you deserve all your days to be good. It doesn't mean you have forgotten you had a son, just the opposite - it would honor the memory you have of him. I wish you all the best on your journey.
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