After reading human interest stories by Lance Armstrong and Deanna Farve, all I can do is picture my life without mother in it and it breaks my heart to see her suffering through this.

She has been so upbeat about it all though, so I am trying to stay that way as well although it is hard for me to do so.

I mean I just got to thinking, thirty five days ago...my life forever changed, as we found out mom had gotten cancer.

I guess I am sounding a lot like a Debbie downer tonight, but, all I see lately when I look at mom (especially when she is asleep) is when I will not be able to see her again.

And it kills me inside to think like that. I mean I lost both my father and stepfather to cancer and now to have the woman I love more than life itself going through it.

I am trying to put on a brave face and stay positive for her, but, I think the one thing that got to me today was seeing her in a wig cap this morning before she got herself fixed up.

Also does anyone know if the bookstores like Barnes and noble sells books on only bone cancer (osteo sarcoma) as I am finding everything under the sun on cancer...but, nothing dealing with that kind of cancer.