Things are starting to "click"
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Hi everyone! I don't know about the rest of you but I was so glad to FINALLY see the sun this weekend!! It's been gray here for weeks!
As the title states, things are starting to click with me....finally. For all the research, reading, etc. things are finally making more sense to me. I am finally becoming more aware of my surroundings and NSV's which is excellent progress for me. I'm still no where near where I want/need to be but every step in the right direction is a good thing.
This month I have been averaging almost 13,000 steps a day. I used to struggle to get 10,000 but now I am trying to aim for 15,000 a day (hit that twice so far this month).
I'm getting better at my daily workouts - now actually looking for more to do in a day but still battle the fears that linger. I know I need to step up the intensity & strength but as someone who has, on doctors orders, never been active (major knee/ankle/joint issues), I'm not really sure how to safely progress (been cleared to do whatever I want). Simple movements that most folks consider easy or basic are completely new to me and I am guilty of over thinking it and then the fears take over. I'm currently unemployed/uninsured so injury is a concern and I can't hire a trainer or join a gym at this point. I'm hoping to have insurance by next month so that will remove some fears...I hope.
I've made some rather major breakthroughs on the food side of things, still struggling but have advanced a step. I can now make it through the grocery store without buying processed or sugary foods! I've occasionally slipped and put something in my cart but return it before I leave that aisle or store. I don't have a lot of junk in the house any more. I am still guilty of having a couple Weight Watchers single serving ice cream cups in the back of the freezer but for me its better than a pint or half gallon and healthier chips for the salty cravings. I believe in everything in moderation but am trying to do a bit of sugar detox since those cravings have become uncontrollable lately.
I'm still working on the cravings and discipline in other situations. I'm fairly controlled in my own home. I don't buy the junk but in a pinch I know I can find it at my mothers house a few doors away! And, while meaning well, she is always all too eager to encourage me to take some home. Most times I've been able to at least limit the take home to one item but sometimes it backfires.
My biggest challenge right now is finding replacements. I find myself roaming the kitchen at "snack time" looking for something yummy. While I love fruits and am getting better with veggies, they just aren't snack food to me yet. In the morning I can grab for an apple or something but in the evening....I just want something more satisfying. The logical side of the brain is saying grab some carrots but the "evil" side and the tummy are saying grab something sweet & yummy! Luckily, I'm not a big baker but there are times, I start looking for yummy treats to make if I can't find what I am craving in the pantry! Knock on wood I haven't caved & baked anything yet! I usually just force myself to upstairs to read, watch a movie, or just go to bed.
I'm making progress but still struggling on a daily basis. But I WILL get there eventually. More things are becoming habit so eventually some struggles will fade. I'm glad I am aware of these changes - - I've had several "I can't believe I just did that moments" lately....whether it be walking away from treats in the grocery store or doing a new exercise with ease....not realizing I walked/worked out for a longer period of time without getting winded. I haven't been on the scale in awhile and plan to avoid it for a while longer so I don't have a number hanging over me (sometimes the scale motivates but usually it just depresses me). I don't think I've lost anything lately but at least I'm seeing other improvements and I know I'm not gaining. For me, it takes the most work to change the mindset. My biggest struggle is still and forever will be loving myself and knowing I am worth it. I think part of my struggle here is the lack of support at home (you SP guys are great!) and no real secondary motivation. I don't have a family/spouse, health issue, etc I am trying to get healthier for - - it's all just for me. I can easily fall into negative patterns of "I don't need to do this". Guess I just need that kick in the head from time to time as a reminder that I do need to this for me and me alone. Somehow we're all hard wired to put others ahead of ourselves.
I have two upcoming goals that I am aiming for but like our SP friend Pixie, if I don't hit them, I'll just bump the deadline. I have a physical coming up in May so I hope to finally be in "onderland" before then. I have a trip planned in Sept which I hope to be within 25lbs of my overall goal. In turn, I aim to be at goal for the start of next year. These deadlines sadly have already been bumped (got derailed around the holidays) but slow and steady wins right?