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    SARASMILING   54,577
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So long for now..

Sunday, March 10, 2013

I've blogged before about my Grandmommy not doing so well. She went to heaven Saturday morning at 1:01am. I am going to miss her so much. She did so much for so many. I lived with her for awhile when I was younger. She was so good. She was so kind and giving. She was never quick to judge. She would do anything for you. She was all the things so many try and fail to be each day, including me.
Even when she was in the nursing home and couldn't even say your name, she always greeted you with the brightest smile and danced down the halls to the delight of all of those around her. She just made you smile. Made you feel good. Made you feel like you were home no matter where you were, she was home.
I hadn't spoken about it since it happened really. I made some phone calls for my mom but besides that I tried to just push it away for a time and kept busy cleaning out the attic not really talking to anyone, not wanting to hear.. "I'm sorry" because then it would be real. If I don't talk about it, it didn't happen. It's not real.
Just like the last week, I haven't talked about that either. I've been driving about an hour south to see her in her nursing home every afternoon. We watched as the life slowly left her. So slowly. It didn't seem fair. She worked so hard all of her life, she shouldn't have to work hard to die too. It was horrible. Horrible to watch. Horrible not knowing what she was feeling or hearing or thinking. Horrible. I am so glad she is at peace now. So glad she can finally see my Granddaddy now. So glad to know and picture her dancing all over heaven now making the angels and saints laugh and smile.
I miss her so much.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATCHMEGO2 3/14/2013 2:15PM

    Hugs Girl, take care.

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SANDRA2BSKINNY1 3/12/2013 10:55AM

    So sorry for your loss. emoticon

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PROUD-GRANDMA 3/11/2013 11:29PM

    emoticon you're blog brought me to tears. What a loving tribute to your grandmother. I can envision her dancing with the angels and watching over you. God Bless.

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IYA_EKUNDAYO 3/11/2013 10:26PM

    I am so sorry for your loss.
emoticon
Regina

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ISAVEDME80 3/11/2013 7:01PM

    The 10th was 2 year anniversary of my Moms passing away so I know all to well the feelings of wanting to *ignore it* and make it not real but that pain is still going to be there and you are going to have to deal with it. I've spent almost the last two years *avoiding it* and it was hell, it still is sometimes. My mom was 48 and she was in decent health and then one day she was not and I watched her die, I was there and I still refused to accept it and deal with my feelings because I didn't understand why God would do this to my family all I could focus on was how it effected me. I never thought about how it effected my grandma(her mom) my brothers,my dad or my nephews. I am now dealing with it better but trust me in saying this. feel the feelings feel the pain, cry scream cuss do it now so you can feel more than holding onto the pain of life being unfair because that feeling sucks the life out of you and turns you into someone who you do not want to look at in the mirror.
I hope you heal in your own time.
I will not say I am sorry because I know how much it annoyed me to hear that when my mom died. Sorry doesn't bring them back.
Now my mom has a new friend in heaven. I hope that they will become friends as they watch down on us and smile.


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JCARDINAL 3/11/2013 1:11PM

    So sorry for your loss. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. emoticon

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KROLES55 3/11/2013 9:44AM

    Praying for you. Sounds like she was a wonderful lady and was a blessing to those she came in contact with. She is at peace and at home. God Bless.

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DEBBY4576 3/10/2013 10:31PM

    I felt your pain. I cried with you. I thought of my kids and how they feel about my Mother, their grandma. They were raised with her. She is 91. For now, she still lives with me. They will be crushed when she passes. I love how much you loved her. Watching the struggle at the end is horrible. Horrible. I know it will leave your mind and you will continue to remember the good things. For now it will be there. I am so very very sorry.

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TAFODIL24 3/10/2013 10:02PM

    emoticon emoticon I had a grandma like yours ~ I'm sorry for your loss.

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1EMMA2011 3/10/2013 9:32PM

    So very sad about your loss! Thinking of you!!

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SPARTAN40 3/10/2013 9:10PM

    I am so sorry for your loss.

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ADVENTURESEEKER 3/10/2013 9:06PM

    emoticon

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STEVIEBEE569 3/10/2013 8:50PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your lost. I understand how you feel because I lost my grandmother in December. You're in my prayers! emoticon

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LOPEYP 3/10/2013 8:27PM

    Sorry emoticon

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REFFIE1 3/10/2013 8:14PM

    I am so sorry you lost your grandmother. I hope that fond memories of her and you together enjoying life emoticon , give you some comfort during this difficult time. I am thinking of you.

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BECOMESTRONGER 3/10/2013 8:12PM

    I'm completely relating to this blog and immensely feel your pain, as my grandmother passed away on Wednesday. Tomorrow is her funeral. The sadness and feelings of lose are overwhelming. I can truly understand how you feel. I've just been trying to remember all the good memories we shared. I'm so sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing. emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/12/2013 3:53:37 PM

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DB1167 3/10/2013 8:04PM

    emoticon

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AWESOMECHELZ 3/10/2013 7:51PM

    I feel your pain for your loss and pray that you will find some spiritual comfort in your great time of need. I also hope you have friends and family you can spend time with and not be alone. May you be blessed and I am sorry. Love, Chelsea emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/10/2013 6:57PM

    emoticon emoticon

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