Sunday, March 10, 2013
I've blogged before about my Grandmommy not doing so well. She went to heaven Saturday morning at 1:01am. I am going to miss her so much. She did so much for so many. I lived with her for awhile when I was younger. She was so good. She was so kind and giving. She was never quick to judge. She would do anything for you. She was all the things so many try and fail to be each day, including me.
Even when she was in the nursing home and couldn't even say your name, she always greeted you with the brightest smile and danced down the halls to the delight of all of those around her. She just made you smile. Made you feel good. Made you feel like you were home no matter where you were, she was home.
I hadn't spoken about it since it happened really. I made some phone calls for my mom but besides that I tried to just push it away for a time and kept busy cleaning out the attic not really talking to anyone, not wanting to hear.. "I'm sorry" because then it would be real. If I don't talk about it, it didn't happen. It's not real.
Just like the last week, I haven't talked about that either. I've been driving about an hour south to see her in her nursing home every afternoon. We watched as the life slowly left her. So slowly. It didn't seem fair. She worked so hard all of her life, she shouldn't have to work hard to die too. It was horrible. Horrible to watch. Horrible not knowing what she was feeling or hearing or thinking. Horrible. I am so glad she is at peace now. So glad she can finally see my Granddaddy now. So glad to know and picture her dancing all over heaven now making the angels and saints laugh and smile.
I miss her so much.