When your kid's life falls apart...
Sunday, March 10, 2013
...how do you know what to do?
We are not having a good morning here. Our son's wife (who is in Florida) called him about midnight last night. She'd been over at her aunt's drinking. She's dropped 40 lbs. and gotten involved with some guy on line from yet ANOTHER state, and she wants a divorce. Brandon is a mess. We finally gave him something to help him sleep and got him in bed about 5:30.
Arn and I are not surprised. I think we've just been hoping this moment wouldn't come. But, we've never felt very secure for him about the relationship since day one. You don't start out having major issues and expect them to go away just because you walk down the aisle. That's a Dr. Philism, and a true one. We've offered to pay for him to see a counselor. It's hard us to have perspective on this at all since we do feel that way. Don't know HOW we'll pay for it, but we will.
So I've pretty much been up all night and am really bleary-eyed. And my back is killing me. It was bad all day yesterday. I don't know what's happened. Usually I know what I did to set it off, which hasn't happened since 2008, so I am terribly upset about that as well. On top of that my sugar is being really wonky from going to the gym, I assume. It was 67 when I got up this morning, so I didn't take one of my meds.
But I'm more upset about Brandon, of course. He just kept going on and on last night about how he can never do anything right. He says he's such a failure. We don't know what to say to him. We can reassure him over and over again that's just not true, but here he sits with two degrees and no job, working for barely above minimum wage ($7+). It doesn't help when we say he's in the same boat as millions of other people who were shoved into white-collar courses at universities because you NEEDED one to get anywhere in the world. Now 80% of them are flippin' burgers. But as I said, he doesn't hear us when we say those things. I am just so, so sad. And a little afraid that he will stop going to the gym (he'd lost 10 lbs. in two weeks) and start eating himself into oblivion.
So for you guys who are praying folk, please lift Brandon and Arn and I up in prayer. We need to know what to do to help get him through this without any Mariel bashing. And would appreciate good thoughts and vibes from the rest of you. You know, when something like this happens to one of your kids it's hard to not feel like a part of YOU has died somewhere. You just want to protect them from all the hurts. I guess that never changes, even when they're grown up.