Sunday, March 10, 2013
Today at 10:30pm will be 2 years since my Mom went to God and as I was laying there in bed this morning I was thinking about her and the things she loved doing so much and a thing that I HATED and was so EMBARRASSED of her doing was she garage sales.
When we were kids she would take us every Friday and Saturday and go to any she could find and she would always end up finding something that she viewed as treasure out when the seller viewed as trash and didn't see as valuable.
She was able to bring a new life to many things over my lifetime. And when I grew up I learned that there was nothing to be ashamed of in her going and today as I was laying there I realized Man O man I wanna be like that.
I wanna find treasure in others that have been cast off and thought of to be trashed by a cruel world. I wanna give hope to others who have lived thru what I have and help them heal.
Then I realized I am like that because I've been broken I can fully understand the power of wanting to be put back together so I use my words to help those who need to hear them the most.
My mom taught me many hard lessons in my life and most were hard than good but she was so loved by me even when she beat me down and she did that a lot.
I was thankful for the last few years of her life when I was able to finally have the Mom I had always wanted in her and be close with her. She had became my best friend.
That is the Mom I chose to remember.
I chose to remember the good times cause the bad times seem so small compared to the fullness those last few years gave to me.
Well Mom I know we always teased brother about you making him wear floaties to keep him safe but I never realized I had on my own floaties until today so I'm removing them and letting myself go into a place I've never been and I'm scared but yet I'm excited because for the first time in my whole life I finally feel like when I fall I know I have the strength to get back up now not to just lay there and wait as people walk over me.
I'm going to find my true calling, I'm not going to settle anymore for a mediocre job that doesn't help others I'm going to find something that helps build up and heal others like me even if its the last thing I do.
Thank you Mom for making me see the trash and the treasure
I'm convinced that I needed to be treated like trash to realized how much a treasure things are cause I'm the type of person who appreciates EVERYTHING and finds something good in everything and finds use for everything.
I really think I had to be broken to be truly fully whole.
I thank God for allowing me to remember the good times with Mom and healing my heart of the bad.
Thank you for allowing me to realize the treasure from the trash.