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    DIFROMWYOMING   62,773
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(Early) Sunday blog check in


Saturday, March 09, 2013

I posted this to my spark team today and realized...it was a blog.

And I needed to say this out loud and I decided I needed to remember I said it out loud, so I am posting here so I can find it later.

I have been trigger food free for 5 weeks now. 5 weeks of logging what I eat every day without fail- 5 weeks of not eating my trigger foods....I am happy with my progress- slow but steady- and considering all my health issues I'll take what I can get. I reset my tracker when I began this new focus.

Because I weigh so much I expect to lose a lot. Other people do. But when I started SP I did have a good successful year and lost 100 pounds- only to stall out for an entire year. A year of doing well with exercise and food and not losing. A year of increasing exercise- changing what I eat- nothing. It was also during this time I was diagnosed as celiac. And I fell apart. I ended up- over 2 years- gaining back 70 of those pounds I'd lost.

During that year of not losing I went to Dr's...I have several health issues that make losing weight 'difficult'. They told me this. I was still frustrated. I wanted results! I deserved them!

You know what? I now would be happy to still be at -100. I would be happy to be there even if meant staying there for 3 years. Because I felt better about me- I felt healthier- and now...now I am back fighting my way there.

When I started this new focus 5 weeks ago I told myself I would be happy with 1 pound a week. 1 pound a week average is over 50 pounds and wouldn't most of us be happy with a 50 pound loss at the end of the year? Heck yes. So am I happy when I lose a pound? Of course not. But I tell myself it's okay- because I know it is good for me to accept this.

I had another epiphany about food. Because my calories are 'usually' low- 1300 to 1400 most days with some higher 1700 days thrown in- I am often, late at night, feeling very hungry. My stomach is actually growling and I can tell I am physically hungry. But- I know I have had a good amount of food for the day- and...I have figured out that being hungry- won't kill me. It's actually something that is okay for me to feel. I have my tea at night- satisfies my desire for sweet/strong flavor at night- and I'm good. I honestly don't think I've ever thought it was okay for me to be hungry before. Now I actually kind of like the feeling- I just let myself feel it- knowing it is okay. Weird, I know.

Progress. Just progress. I can almost 'see' a light far, far off. Where I will be willing to do more- give up more- work harder. I know I'm not there yet- but I think I finally got on the right track to see the light. At least for today. And today is what I have.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_KATHY 3/18/2013 4:57PM

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KNH771 3/14/2013 7:16PM

    You are so right about the pound a week thing... I tend to get wrapped up in the short term and fail to see the long term benefits of getting healthier rather than just getting skinnier...

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LINDAINALABAMA 3/13/2013 5:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

I see a light at the end of the tunnel also!!!

Linda

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GEORGIA_KAY 3/11/2013 11:57PM

    Struggling along. Finding our way. Wandering off the path sometimes... coming back into the light.... Testing ourselves, ------all of these are part of who we are. I think it makes us stronger. ...........Reaching down inside and finding that the Hope is still alive and SO ARE WE.

And that hope inside of us will never let us truly give up.





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MIZCATHI 3/11/2013 12:03PM

    The cliche is simple. Slow and steady wins the race. I guess that depends on what race you are in, but overall, if the goal is to get healthy while you deal with physical issues and mental stress, it definitely seems to work. Behaviors have to be unlearned and new ones learned. Our "stuff" gets in the way, along with the hiccups of life. You're doing great! Cat

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TRUCKER72 3/10/2013 12:56PM

    THIS POEM IS ON A BOOKMARK SNUG ON THE VISOR OF MY CAR:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

I DONT KNOW WHO WROTE IT. AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE SUCCESS IS FAILURE TURNED INSIDE OUT PART, BUT THE TWO LINES THAT END WITH QUIT RESONATE WITH ME EVERYTIME I READ THEM. I HAVE HAD THIS POEM SINCE UNIVERSITY BACK IN '91. XO

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BAYBELIEVER 3/10/2013 10:49AM

    Glad you are seeing the light in all ways! Such a tough journey we are on but so proud of you for turning it around!

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BE-THE-CHANGE 3/10/2013 8:56AM

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DAWNWATERWOMAN 3/10/2013 4:38AM

    A most excellent blog my friend. Glad that you're starting to see the light. Maybe, together, we can get where we most want to be. Bright blessings to you on your journey. I love you. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MT-MOONCHASER 3/10/2013 12:07AM

    I'm glad to see that you are getting back into the groove.

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JUNEAU2010 3/9/2013 11:14PM

    Great blog and I love the picture that you posted at the end. It helps me visualize my light, too!

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