Saturday, March 09, 2013
Well, let's start with the good news. 3 days in a row, my body fat has been down, so I think it's safe to say that this is real, and not an anomaly of the scale. :)
DS14 had a meltdown in school, which I intervened in. He's very self-judgmental, and he's beating himself up over his grades. All Bs and one A aren't good enough for him. He was able to pull himself together & get through the rest of the day, but I had a bad feelings about my single motherhood, my special needs child, and being the sole provider of the family. Then later that day, I sat alone at the concert, which made me feel sad & lonely again. Midway through the concert, I got a long distance phone call, on vibrate, which I let go to voice mail. But I spent some time entertaining bad thoughts that maybe someone died, blah blah blah. Why does my mind go to the dark places? Then it turned out to be a wrong number. Sheesh! What a Debbi Downer! The concert was followed with heavy drinking. That's a bit of back-sliding into emotional eating & drinking. But it was a tough day, so I cut myself some slack. As long as it's just one night, and doesn't turn into a lost weekend, week, month or even a year.
The teen years are hard. The emotional turmoil and surging hormones wreak havoc on the best of kids. And a special needs kids especially.
I've been going to the gym regularly. Doing my heavy lifting more than cardio.
So I give eating a B+, exercise an A+, and motivation an E for effort. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I want better grades too. I'm going insist that we both double down on self-forgiveness.