Saturday, March 09, 2013
Our destination is the United Kingdom. Which I thought would be fun to revisit the old stomping ground - but in fact is bring up some fond memories as well as some painful ones. I have been out of sorts the pass few days and I do realize why after some soul searching. Old tape recordings which I thought I erased but apparently I haven't completely erased.
This now Brings me to yesterday challenge question that I skipped. "Anything else you would like to share with your Team" Yes I have a lot of demons that have haunted me for years. As a person who has to deal with PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) on a daily basis life can be difficult and just a little thing like this weeks challenge destination can put in in a downward spiral.
For many years I thought I was damaged / defected goods where no one would want or have any love for me what so every. Looked for love in all the wrong places and with all the wrong ones etc. So at his minute my PTSD is kicking butt. But I will not fall for the old tape recording its an untruth that I must not allow to take root in me ever again.
I was Stationed at RAF Mildenhal Suffolk England back in the early 80's this was my home for awhile:
A view from my dorm window
This was me being brave and happy on the outside but inside terrified, depressed and very lonely
Will not go into the details of all that happened but that experience changed my life for ever We hear everything happens for a reason I will never understand why but it is part of life and it is in the past at the same token I am thankful for the good bad and yes the ugly that has happened ot me In many ways has made me a much stronger determined person. Once again I live in the light I refuse ot let that dark place take root. I am drained from revisiting the past and need ot unwind and rest Tomorrow is a new day.